The first time I had sex, I was 17. It wasn't a bad experience. The guy was pretty cool. It was a friend of mine's older cousin. Nice, easy to hang out with, we'd gone to some parties, he'd taken me to a movie once, and we were friends. It literally just kind of happened one night, and yeah, I wanted to. I was ready for it, and afterwards, I thought about it, and realized it wasn't as horrible as I'd heard for a first time.

The second time I slept with a guy was about a year later. I didn't "need" to get it. I could take care of myself just fine, and I'm comfortable admitting that. I like watching porn, no like there. Just something kind of dirty about me. But until last night, I'd never done anything really "off" or "weird" unless watching porn is weird, or maybe on occasion, when I'd spend the night at my friend Heather's house, I knew her and her boyfriend Matt would have sex, I'd watch them from the other room (No, she's not aware I've done it. I just like watching, my dirty little secret).

last night though, I guess I decided I wanted to do something that I don't know how many others really do. Talk about it yes, maybe think about it yes, but actually carry out and do it? I don't know how many truthful would do it. I'd seen my step dad masturbate a couple of times. I just shrugged it off. He's a guy, and after all, that's what guys do. But the last time I saw it, he was using a condom (and considering him and my mom don't use them, knowing she's fixed, and can't have kids), I thought that was kind of strange. I was watching from the hall doorway, and I saw him put it on. First thing I'm thinking is, he must be cheating on her, as they don't use condoms, and he must have a supply to stay safe. And then watching, I realize that he's using them to masturbate, and to have orgasms inside them almost like real sex. I know him and my mom aren't very active (her fault - she's gotten overweight, lame and prude in her older age. Truth). But watching him, I thought it was really dirty, perverted, and in a way just freaky. And I guess I was curious as to why he did what he did.

So when him and I were home last night, I actually confronted him. He denied it. Until I said "I'm not trying to be a weirdo, or freak you out. But I saw you" and he about shit. And I said "I heard you" and his face got all red. I just continued on, and said "but I thought it was kind of hot when you were moaning my name, as you were letting go inside the condom you'd put on. Why condoms? You and mom don't use them" and he shrugged and said "I like the feel. I actually have asked her about using them on occasion, just kind of dirty weird, but she won't have it. So I do this sometimes. Guess that's all"

He looked at he, and said "where's this going?" to which I just shrugged and said I didn't know. Was just curious. He just sat back and said OK. And I finally just said "were you really fantasizing about me?" and he looked at me and said "well, considering if you tell your mom, our marriage is done. But since you asked, yes. That's the truth" so I asked him what. And he told me, much to my surprise. Said he fantasized about me. Wanted to know what it would feel like. And I asked him if he'd ever seen me naked, no clothes, etc. He said "NO. I'm not a fucking pervert" to which I laughed and said I was sorry, didn't mean to creep you out. He just shrugged and said if anyone would creep someone out, it would be me. I mean, you saw my junk, and know I fantasized about you. I just nodded and kind of shrugged and said yeah.

It got awkward silent for a second. I was sitting on the couch. He was on the recliner next to me. And I looked at him. He asked what was the matter. So I just finally said would you really want to have sex with me? He looked at me and said if you are asking? And if the possibility was there? Yes. I'd sleep with you. You are very good looking, have a beautiful smile, I like your hair, and I think sexually, you would be good company. I could not believe I was going to do this. I stood up. He asked where I was going. I just looked at him and said "I'd like to go upstairs with you. Mom won't be home tonight. It's just us" and he looked at me and said "go upstairs for what?" and I just looked at him and said straight honest "I'd like to have sex with you." He was stunned. Silent and speechless. He said "Are you sure?" to which I nodded and said yes. I am certain. No. It won't go any farther with mom. I won't tell. You have my word. But yes. I'd like to sleep with you.

When we went up to their room, it was very awkward at first. He asked me what I wanted to do. And I finally said "I'd like to know what it's like to be with you." He walked up to me, put his arms around me, pulled me against him, and I got really nervous. He stood there and said I can stop. I just kissed him. Pressed my mouth to him. He gasped, opened his mouth, and we started kissing.

It led to us winding up on the bed. We started taking our clothes off one piece at a time, until I got down to my underwear and bra. As I took my bra off, I saw him down between my legs, pulling my underwear off. And I heard him say "oh sweet Jesus. You are beautiful" I just laughed and said well I think thanks? He pushed my legs gently. And I nearly came when he stated touching me. He moved so softly and slowly, that it didn't take long for me to have a massive orgasm. I laid there when I was done, and I heard him say "now that was nice"

We did various things, and we made it last quite a bit. The sex part didn't come until quite much later. But when it was going to actually happen, he stopped, and was kind of laying there. I initiated the sexual intercourse. I finally rolled over, and I moved on top of him, felt his penis slide slowly inside me, saw him gasp, and it entered me. I had an orgasm almost immediately when he was inside me. I was shaking so bad he had to hold onto me. I finally just laid there, as he started kissing me.

He was helping me move up and down, and eventually rolled over, spread me, and entered me again. And again, a repeat, I had an orgasm. Almost instantly. He started thrusting slowly, and I watched his face. He came inside me. He was shaking, his knees were trembling, and I felt him squirting up inside me. When he was done gasping and breathing heavy, he propped himself up by his hands, and stayed inside me.

It lasted for quite awhile. When we were done, we got off, and were wiping off with a towel. He just sat there staring at me. And didn't say anything. I moved in front of him, and I kissed him. Leaned into him. And smiled and said you were awesome. He breathed heavy and smiled and said thanks.

And then I shocked him again. I told him I truly loved being with him, and every minute of our experience, and I'd like to do it again. He said he'd enjoy that.

As of now, we haven't discussed it again. But yes. I do plan to sleep with him more. It was truly enjoyable.