I have been reading this site for a very long time. And much like many people that are on this site, I myself have a very dirty secret that I deal with, and I hide from society itself. I do not feel the need to share my private business with others, knowing they would cast me out, judge me, mistreat me, criticize me, and label me. And I have no interest in tolerating that.

I have a problem I have dealt with for nearly 8 months, and I am just in need of sharing it. I am an avid lover and watcher of porn. I openly admit it. But not only for the sex acts. But because I physically use the porn to release what I have to. I love masturbating, and physically feel the need to orgasm at least 7-8 times a week. My wife and I on occasion have sex, but aside of that, I simply take care of it myself.

Approximately 8 months ago, my youngest teenage daughter (high school age) caught me masturbating. Interrupting me prior to having an orgasm. It made things very awkward for several days around the house. I attempted to talk to her, and got nowhere with it. Until several days later, when we sat down and had a very long, detailed intimate discussion. And during the discussion, when I'd asked her what the problem was, she got very uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassed. So I pushed. And her response shocked me. She simply stated "I feel like a dirty nasty person. I feel gross and disgusting. But watching what you were doing got me horny, and nearly got me off. I ended up doing myself fantasizing about what you were doing". I sat there in utter shock. Speechless. And she continued I wanted to watch you have an orgasm. I wanted to see it. I wanted to watch you experience it". I was shocked. I had never imagined this. And the conversation commenced to lead into her asking me and pleading with me to let her watch me masturbate to an orgasm. At least once. So help me, I did. I am not sure as to why I allowed it, being my teenage young daughter. But I did, figuring that it would do no harm. She could see the same thing on porn.

My sexual hormones got the best of me, and I allowed this behavior for nearly two months. Until one night, she came in, and was uncomfortable, awkward, and embarrassed. And in trying to get the answer out of her, I got nowhere. So I finally said "Brandy? We can't do this. You need to either talk to me, or something. I'm not entirely sure. And maybe what we've been doing needs to stop? I'm not sure. I think it's made matters worse". She sat there and she finally said "I want to have sex with you". She stopped me in my tracks. I looked at her stunned. She finally said "I sexually get so excited thinking about what you are going to do. What I get to watch you do. Experience it. I want to know what that's like. I want to feel it. I want you to do that with me". I sat there in shock. I said to her "You're my own kid. That's not possible". She stood there, looking at me, reached into her purse, and pulled out condoms. And said to me "you can. If you use protection. No risk. Not like we'd have kids or anything"

I have no clue why I was even continuing to talk about it. And without a word, she stood there, and undressed. Within a matter of about 3 minutes, my daughter Brandy was standing there naked. Firm round small breasts, small round firm nipples, a stomach that curved down, and the most blessed beautiful pubic hair bush of blonde and brown I had ever seen. I felt my penis growing erect, and increasingly getting painful. She stood there and said "Is there something wrong with me?" I sat there and said Jesus. No. For the love of God. You have one of the most beautiful little bodies I have ever seen" and she stared at me and said to me straight out "then have sex with me. Please. Let me experience the orgasm that you are doing. Rather than watching. Be with me"

I tried to say no. I tried desperately to decline it, to deny it, to keep my thoughts and perversions to myself. But I stood up, and she could see my erect penis. She said nothing. I finally said "you're sure?" and she nodded and said yes. I'm sure. I want to sleep with you.

Approximately 25 minutes later, that night, was the first time I had sex with my daughter. Using a condom for protection, when I was going to ejaculate, I had an orgasm inside my condom. When we were done with the act itself, I withdrew from her vagina, and laid there next to her, talking gently and quietly. We laid there kissing slowly, and then approximately 45 minutes later, I wanted to feel it with her again. I asked her "Brandy, can you have sex with me again?" and she nodded and said yes. We proceeded to do all of the things normal couples do. Kissing, touching, caressing, fingering, and a variety of other sex acts.

Two days later, her mom was at a business meeting, and her older sister was at work. She'd just gotten off the bus from school, and had cone into the house. She was taking a shower, and upon coming out of the shower, I walked up to her, removed the towel, and proceeded to have sex with her right there next to the dining room table. I once again used a condom, that I had been hiding under the mattress in the spare bedroom. And again, upon finishing, I released my sperm into the condom, ejaculating, and emptying myself. We laid there quietly for a few minutes. And I finally said "is this what you want?" She nodded and said yes. I like being with you. It feels right.

Yesterday evening, after mowing the lawn, and coming in, my daughter walked into the shower with me. This had never happened before. And we commenced to have sexual intercourse in the shower. The only problem is, although my daughter is on birth control pills, I had an orgasm inside her vagina not using a condom for additional protection. I was up against her pushed against the wall, we were kissing, she saw the look on my face, and she said "you're having an orgasm aren't you?" to which I gasped and released. I could not stop myself. I was inside her, and let go.

I am afraid of the results. But her being on the pill, I have hopes nothing will happen. I know this is morally and ethhically wrong. But I cannot help physically enjoying the feeling of what we are doing sexually. It is a dirty secret that I hide, and I'm not sure what to do about.

So I have posted it.