I am a straight A student, member of the church choir, have gone on all of the church outings, if you see me you know what kind of guy I am. My dream is to be an English teacher. I want to go to college and get a degree in secondary education. I have a high SAT score, and have been accepted to my number one choice college. All this is true, and this is my image.

But I am not what I appear. I am gay. I do filthy things with men for money I meet through Craigslist.

I am gay with the man that does our lawn. His name is Pedro and his company is Pedro's Lawn Service. He is 52 and I have been sucking his dick and letting him fuck me since I was in the xxxx grade. I suck him and fuck with him at least once a week, lots of times twice a week. He had me tattooed, I have a bottle cap with his initials tattooed on my right butt cheek, right up against where my butt hole is. He owns me, and I give him the money I make.

He told me I don't have permission to go to college, that I can buy my freedom to go to college, but there is no way I can get that much money. My only choice is to go to community college here and keep on working for him. He doesn't want to give up the money I make.

I can make a lot more money now that I am out of school if I give the boy friend experience to some old guy. But it is a lie because the only one I can give the boy friend experience to is Pedro. I love him more than anyone. I can't fake loving someone, so my other choice is to do it more often. I just can't get enough money to buy my freedom to go to college. I am going to disappoint my parents when I tell them I am going to community college instead.

And I don't really know if I can go away, I love Pedro and if I go on vacation I spend all day dreaming about him and coming home to him. I love my tattoo.

I am trapped between my dream to be an English teacher and being with Pedro and making him happy.