I feel I will be alone for the rest of my life. What should I do with my self, and should i just give up.

Police department hired me and I soon became the secretary to the chief of the department. I found him exciting and wanted to please him. We had a twenty eight year affair where daily I pleased him sexually in some way. He made me feel good and wanted.
Then he retired and I worried if I would loose my job. The new chief would replace me I just knew. But he did not, and this one did not want sex I thought. I had a feeling of rejection and lost my feeling as a desired woman. Some of the officers made passes here and there, but i worried if I gave in, word would get around. If word got around then the top man would not want me, feel I am passed around goods and replace me.
Then one day at work I sat with him watching the security tape footage of department store working having sex and them steeling items. I noticed he enjoyed this and kept replaying one scene where the woman gave the young boy oral sex. I took the chance and told him to let me take care of it. It was not long before I enjoyed the feeling of the woman I had been for the office and city.
I got the news that this man was retiring and his replacement was a man I knew. He worked at the city for several years. A very religious man who I knew was not interested in sex outside his wife. I knew he would replace me and he did. He brought in a young girl with a degree to be his assistant and now I would go back to dispatcher work.
My pay was cut and I had to rotate shifts. Most of the officers of old were retired and the new were young. I was alone in everything for three years. I got depressed and I guess it showed to those around me.
One of the younger guys ask why I stopped wearing those nice dresses, and the heels? He told me how he enjoyed watching me walk around the office in them.
He and I worked the night shift and I dressed in my best dress and heels. He had a sexual tone to his voice. I ask if he had ever experience an older woman? He said he had, but would like to again. He was divorced like many young married police officers end up. I invited him to my apartment for breakfast the next morning.
After breakfast he made me feel alive in my bed. After he spent the day holding me as we slept. We woke up and he showed me how quickly a young man can recover. I experienced a great time and good memory.
Now I am retired and alone in my apartment. I have no reason to leave now. No one comes by to see me.