I have been married for 15 years, but I did something 2 years ago that I will always feel guilty about.

My wifes boyfriend before me was was black, and of course I always joked to her about his cock size and the myths and all of that. She admitted that he was huge. I found myself wanting to hear so many details about him - and that got me hooked on watching interracial porn with white women and black guys. It got to the point where I even started asking my wife if she would consider hooking up with her old boyfriend or any black guy just so I could watch. She thought I was crazy, and despite my begging her to do it, she never did.
After endless hours of watching black on white porn , and hearing what my wife said about her ex and his cock size, and even sometimes if she was in the mood "roleplaying" about her fucking him in front of me - I became obsessed. I wanted to see a black cock live!
I started posting ads on Craigslist first asking if there would be a black guy willing to just show me his cock. That did not generate any responses, so I got desperate enough to offer to suck the black guys cock if he would meet with me. My rules were that he had to be straight - preferably married - and had to be above average size wise. I ended up writing back and forth to one guy who was engaged, but had a similar fantasy of having a white guy "worship" his black cock. We finally agreed to meet at his place while his fiance was at work. And yes, I saw pictures of the fiance and the guy around their apartment, so I felt better about it for some reason.
We ended up talking for about 10 minutes or so - about sex and my wife and her black cock experience. He was very curious to hear about the 3some she had with two black guys, and that seemed to get him aroused. He finally said "are you ready?" and I said yes.
He stood up and walked over towards me, and I could see the bulge in his pants right away. He unzipped himself and out popped his cock. It was so dark and so big, I just kind of stared at it for awhile. I thought about something like that being buried inside my wife, and what that must have felt like for her. Pretty soon it was right by my lips, so I did what came natural and opened my mouth to accept it.
I have never sucked a cock before, and I never thought I ever would - but there I was giving another man a blow job. I basically emulated what my wife does when she gives ME oral sex. The guy did a lot of talking about how I wished I was his size, how he would please my wife more, stuff like that. I must have said "my wife would love your black cock" a dozen times to him. I was suprised how much my jaw achced though, it was obvious I had no experience sucking cock, let alone something that size.
But the entire time the guys cock was in my mouth, I thought about my wife. How I was experiencing something she did hundreds of times I am sure. She does not know it - but we have a connection in a way. We both know what its like to have a big black cock stretching from our lips.
Eventually, the guy had me ask him to "please cum in my mouth", and shortly after I asked he started to spurt. I have so much more appreciation for all the blowjobs my wife has given me and all the cum she has swallowed. I could not believe how much he came. I just kept swalllowing, and he kept cumming. When he finally finished, it seemed natural to squeeze a few last drops out of it, and licked that up from the tip of his cock. I ended up kissing it all over then for some reason - my way of thanking black cock for all the pleasure it had given my wife I guess.

After I left and was driving home - it all hit me what I just done. Not only did I cheat on my wife, but it was with another guy no less. I came close to getting physically ill...probably because of the volume of cum I swallowed, and also the feelings of guilt that came rushing at me.

To this day when I walk past a black guy, I swear they give me a look as if they are saying "we know what you did!"

Its embarrassing to think that I sucked a cock - but at least I put all the black cock obsessions to rest that I had.