I'm not sure "My Family" is the appropriate category for my confession. However, since I've found a venue where I may anonymously share my secret, I shall. Because my confessions will not contain juicy, sexual details like others, which we all delight in reading, I'm posting more for getting it off my chest than anything else.
In January I lost my husband of 42 years; we were best friends and I miss him so, very much. My first marriage only lasted 2 years - with no children, for which I'm thankful. Our only child, a daughter, passed away 8 years ago and our only grandchild (boy) lives with his dad in another state. We talk daily and I do so enjoy our times together - he is so handsome, smart and so out going. I was the youngest of 3 and the only surviving member of my immediately family. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely as I'm surrounded by a network of close, valuable, loyal friends.
What very few people ever knew, including our daughter, was that we were swingers, which began about the time she started school. It was my husbands idea and I fought the idea many years before I agreed to our first 3 way (with a woman). It was awkward at first until I gave into my inner urges and allowed myself to enjoy the experience. The fears I would lose my husband to another woman, or he would no longer love me for participating in sex with another woman proved to be wrong. If anything, we became closer and our love seemed more intense. It wasn't like this was a weekly activity, because it wasn't. Nevertheless, it was an activity we both sought and enjoyed to its fullest. I'd been in some solo's with other women, which he knew of before and got the details afterwards.
When I told him it was his turn to be with another man he was really hesitant but agreed and it happened, and I found it to be extremely stimulating. I found as much sexual gratification in watching him and a man as he did in watching me and another woman. We did some couple swapping's and orgies, but our favorites were me and multiple bi men and him with multiple bi women. We were pillars of the community and the only ones who knew were those who participated.
At 71 I still work full time and look much younger. I am very healthy running 3 miles Mon., Wed., and Fri., and 5 miles on Tues. and Thur. When my grandson is in town we run together which thrills him to no end, as it does me. The first time I was with another woman after my husband passed I felt like I was cheating on him for the first time. When I entertained 4 of our bi married men I felt the same. I missed his presence and being able to give him the details as I had done so many times in the past as he had with me. That emptiness and void is still there as I attempt to move on with the life I would want him to maintain had I gone first. I cherish my memories and am thankful for having him in my life. Although my life will never be the same, I move forward with a smile knowing how fortunate I was for what I had.