I often want to die. Right now I want to die. I try to be happy but I can't be. People don't understand what goes on in my head. They say "This isn't the [my name] I know" and I just cry because no one knows me. It would he nice to just go to sleep and never wake up. I'm going to be 22 this year and I try to find a reason to live since I was ten. I talk to Suicide prevention sometimes but they are just people too. They try to fix me instead of help me.

I dont blame them. I just.. I want to go away and yet I stay alive for other people.