Bi-Sexual Male / 41
T.N.S.C.: Thursday Night Sports Club
Nine years ago I had just ended a 4 year marriage (childless) which cost me financially and left me an emotional wreck. My boss thought a change of scenery might serve me best, but it came with a contingent promotion if I could improve revenue at the southeastern location. I was delighted to the change; the warm weather was great, however, I was not prepared for an unfriendly and clickish beach town. I took a 1 bedroom six months lease in a C grade apartment complex to save money and see if I could turn things around - professional and personal.
I worked long hours, seven days a week and the few hours I wasn't sleeping I was lonely and not very successful in making new friends in the big ole beach town. Four months into the project things were improving to the point I was getting praises from the regional, divisional and corporate office. It was a Saturday night around 9pm when I finished the last report and left the office. I decided to go to the beach to sit on a bench and think...did I want to live in a place where people were so crude, cold and stand offish? I'd only been there a few minutes when an elderly gentleman walked over and asked permissions to share my bench. I recognized his NY accent and we quickly began talking. Just after midnight he told me he had to go home to get some sleep as he had an 8:00am appointment to go drift fishing the next morning...and he invited me. I thought about it on my way home and I was at the coffee house at the pier at 7:00am and had a wonderful time and great conversation. We at lunch while they cleaned our catch and agreed to meet for dinner the next Saturday and go out on the 6:00pm fishing trip - and we did.
He was a retired Wall Street attorney, who moved to south after his wife passed 15 years earlier. His only daughter lived in NYC with his 2 grandchildren, so he was alone...just like me. I stopped seeing him as my grandfather, or a man over 2 times my age, but as a friend who could communicate with me on my level, my terms and respected me and my opinions.
A couple of week later we were standing in the parking lot of a local, well know Italian restaurant when he said, "I need to share something with you and I hope I do not offend you, as I value our new friendship; you make me feel young again. He said, I am bisexual but did not tell you that as making a come-on/pass. I am not looking for sex from any man; just their friendship. I thought you needed to know the "rest of my story". I told him I was bi and had not seen him as sexual partner, rather a much needed friend and very positive influence.
The next Saturday morning after fishing we went to his house and I was absolutely blown away; guard-gated community, 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 3 half baths, 11,134 sq. ft., 6 car garage with A/C, over an acre with tennis court, basketball court, a 10 man hot tub which spilled into the very large infinity pool and a manicured yard that looked like a Caribbean spa. When he opened the garage doors for a tour of the air cooled garage there set a new Rolls Royce Phantom and a 2 year old Drophead Rolls Royce Convertible beside the Ford pick up he drove. All of this on the main Intercostal Waterway.
All through the day he shared with me how, while married in NYC, he made connection with a large group of married, divorced and single bisexual professionals who met one day a week. When he moved to Florida he decided to "pay it forward" and every Thursday he hosted a 5:am until midnight Open House...a "Safe Harbor" for bisexual men to come, as their schedule permitted, to fellowships with other like minded men. No one paid a penny for a meal (whatever mean or meals they ate. They had the run of the house and property. An environment were all men, regardless of age, race, education, or socio economic status were "equal". It is an invitation only, private, select group who adheres to some serious confidentiality guidelines, and no one ever brings a quest. I've been there when it was only me and host, and was there when 224 were watching the Super Bowl.
He was the best friend I have ever had in my entire life and his wisdom and advise moved me forward in my professional, and personal life, like you would not believe. My best friend left us unexpectedly and it broke my heart and so many others who loved him for who he was - not what he did for anyone. Every time I go drift fishing on our favorite boat I toss a coin into the sea, like he did in remembrance of his friend, who I later learned was the host of his group in NYC. Our group has splintered into 3 groups, in 3 counties, but we never forget the man who taught us how to love each other unconditional, without judgment, accept each other as who we are and how to say "thanks, but I'll pass" without offending one of our own.
Happy 91st Birthday to my best friend - the man who founded and hosted the Thursday Night Sports Club!
Nine years ago I had just ended a 4 year marriage (childless) which cost me financially and left me an emotional wreck. My boss thought a change of scenery might serve me best, but it came with a contingent promotion if I could improve revenue at the southeastern location. I was delighted to the change; the warm weather was great, however, I was not prepared for an unfriendly and clickish beach town. I took a 1 bedroom six months lease in a C grade apartment complex to save money and see if I could turn things around - professional and personal.
I worked long hours, seven days a week and the few hours I wasn't sleeping I was lonely and not very successful in making new friends in the big ole beach town. Four months into the project things were improving to the point I was getting praises from the regional, divisional and corporate office. It was a Saturday night around 9pm when I finished the last report and left the office. I decided to go to the beach to sit on a bench and think...did I want to live in a place where people were so crude, cold and stand offish? I'd only been there a few minutes when an elderly gentleman walked over and asked permissions to share my bench. I recognized his NY accent and we quickly began talking. Just after midnight he told me he had to go home to get some sleep as he had an 8:00am appointment to go drift fishing the next morning...and he invited me. I thought about it on my way home and I was at the coffee house at the pier at 7:00am and had a wonderful time and great conversation. We at lunch while they cleaned our catch and agreed to meet for dinner the next Saturday and go out on the 6:00pm fishing trip - and we did.
He was a retired Wall Street attorney, who moved to south after his wife passed 15 years earlier. His only daughter lived in NYC with his 2 grandchildren, so he was alone...just like me. I stopped seeing him as my grandfather, or a man over 2 times my age, but as a friend who could communicate with me on my level, my terms and respected me and my opinions.
A couple of week later we were standing in the parking lot of a local, well know Italian restaurant when he said, "I need to share something with you and I hope I do not offend you, as I value our new friendship; you make me feel young again. He said, I am bisexual but did not tell you that as making a come-on/pass. I am not looking for sex from any man; just their friendship. I thought you needed to know the "rest of my story". I told him I was bi and had not seen him as sexual partner, rather a much needed friend and very positive influence.
The next Saturday morning after fishing we went to his house and I was absolutely blown away; guard-gated community, 6 bedrooms, 7 full and 3 half baths, 11,134 sq. ft., 6 car garage with A/C, over an acre with tennis court, basketball court, a 10 man hot tub which spilled into the very large infinity pool and a manicured yard that looked like a Caribbean spa. When he opened the garage doors for a tour of the air cooled garage there set a new Rolls Royce Phantom and a 2 year old Drophead Rolls Royce Convertible beside the Ford pick up he drove. All of this on the main Intercostal Waterway.
All through the day he shared with me how, while married in NYC, he made connection with a large group of married, divorced and single bisexual professionals who met one day a week. When he moved to Florida he decided to "pay it forward" and every Thursday he hosted a 5:am until midnight Open House...a "Safe Harbor" for bisexual men to come, as their schedule permitted, to fellowships with other like minded men. No one paid a penny for a meal (whatever mean or meals they ate. They had the run of the house and property. An environment were all men, regardless of age, race, education, or socio economic status were "equal". It is an invitation only, private, select group who adheres to some serious confidentiality guidelines, and no one ever brings a quest. I've been there when it was only me and host, and was there when 224 were watching the Super Bowl.
He was the best friend I have ever had in my entire life and his wisdom and advise moved me forward in my professional, and personal life, like you would not believe. My best friend left us unexpectedly and it broke my heart and so many others who loved him for who he was - not what he did for anyone. Every time I go drift fishing on our favorite boat I toss a coin into the sea, like he did in remembrance of his friend, who I later learned was the host of his group in NYC. Our group has splintered into 3 groups, in 3 counties, but we never forget the man who taught us how to love each other unconditional, without judgment, accept each other as who we are and how to say "thanks, but I'll pass" without offending one of our own.
Happy 91st Birthday to my best friend - the man who founded and hosted the Thursday Night Sports Club!
