First things first, I am the daughter of a family with a recognized name. My family's name is on machinery that is used every day. I married into a family who's name you recognize every day in your grocery shelf. For all the reasons I did not change my name and we have a complicated legal arrangement. I married in college, quite young, but we were in heat and the idea of not getting sex was impossible. Since early on I was into sex, as were most of my friends, sex was something we did. I developed an early liking to girls, especially surprising them that they were going to be eaten out by another girl. There were always available girls to us, they liked to hang out with us (my crowd) and I had several opportunities to pop a girl's cherry with my tongue.

My husband and I got off to him picking up or hiring girls and bringing them home for me to 'fuck'. More than one girl got held down by him while I ate her out. I prided myself in forcing orgasms on girls, even if they didn't want one, I could make most any girl orgasm, I know how to make her orgasm between fingers, tongue and bites, the most resistant girl will got so wet that I could swallow her juice, and she orgasmed.

Sometimes while I was on a girl my husband would bang me, sometimes. Usually he banged me when we were just the two of us. Bringing girls home was primarily to satisfy me. All through graduate school he always found girls, some he paid, they knew why they were there, and others just got the surprise of their lives.

Well in graduate school, I was working on my phd at the time, I got a young undergraduate lab assistant. She turned 19 while she worked for me. I didn't tell my husband about her, I felt totally responsible for her. I looked after her, I became her mentor and helped her with her courses. I barely touched her, except hello and goodbye kisses and hugs. I secretly wrote her name and then would tear up the papers. I helped her with clothes, I told her I was rich and buying her a few things was ok, she couldn't afford them. I bough her make up, and helped her learn to make up the way I liked, very subtle. On one occasion, while we were buying some clothes, she was trying on some blouses and I pushed up her breasts to see how some cleavage would work. I smoothed her pants, to make sure they fit snuggly around her butt. One day, when she was leaving to go to class, I just held her an extra minute and kissed her square on the lips.

My husband noticed that I wasn't into the girls he was bringing home, sure we had the same sex thing going, but I just couldn't get into them. It was better for me if he just screwed me and we forgot about the other girl. One day after he had screwed me, I told him about the girl at the lab. I told him that I knew I was in love with her, in love like in love, I told him that I wanted her to be with me, and I wanted to have her all by myself, and that I wanted to have her stay and sleep over with me and I wanted to get up and make pancakes with her. I don't cook.

He asked me if I still wanted to be married, and I said yes, I was married to him and I expected that he be the one to fuck me, and I would have a kid if he wanted (something that up till then wasn't on my list of things). But I loved her and I wanted her in my life.

I finished my phd program, and got a position at the university and my lab assistant stayed with me, and for two more years all I got was some wet kisses when we said hello or some deep hugs for holidays, hugs where I just could not let her go. One day, I just broke down and told her I loved her. I was in love with her and I was sure she had noticed and I wanted her to be in love with me. She told me she wasn't that type of girl, meaning she wasn't a lesbian. I fell to my knees and broke down crying. After I recovered, she let me kiss her and told me that she really liked me, liked working for me, but she really didn't think that she was a lesbian. She didn't have any feelings like that. I asked her to try, to just let me show her how much I loved her.

She didn't respond to me, for the first time in my life I wasn't able to get a girl to respond. I let my husband fuck her, while he was fucking her I asked her if that is what she liked, getting fucked by a man. We did make pancakes the next morning, I was still crying, I broke down and cried every time I thought that she didn't love me back, she let me hug her and let me kiss her, but she told me that she was more of a penis girl, not that she was totally turned off to what I showed her the night before, but she needed a penis.

I have never stopped loving her, I allowed myself to get pregnant and I have two kids. My husband knows about my feelings for her, and he is very empathetic. We no longer troll for girls and we no longer have sexual parties like we used to. I am a humdrum wife, we live well, we are both phds and we have a lab business of our own. And we have our dividend's from our family trusts, and our children are growing up like we did. I see my daughter who is now nine and I am going to do everything I can for her not to get into sex like I did. My son is 12 and he is going to be quite successful with the women. I know it is sexist but I don't care, I just want to protect my daughter.

My children don't know about my one true love, because to this day she is my one true love, and I will do everything I can to make sure she has a good life. I hate her husband and when I see him I have a very hard time with my feelings. I am sorry this is about my unrequited love. I just love her so much it hurts every day to be cheated out of being with her.