I shot an independent adult film today in cheap motel for a producer so I found on Craigslist.

It was my first time doing anything like this and I would never dream I would end up doing this. But I watch so many of these real amateur girls doing this on tube sites and I read about it on blogs and how it was easy money and I just couldn't get the idea out of my head. So the more I looked around on various adult sites like Craigslist and other the more tempting it got and I started talking to this guy and I checked out the sources so I knew he wasn't some psychopath and when his small studio checked out to be legit I had a hard time convincing myself not to do it so I did.

I was so scared, you have no idea! Just to walk into a hotel room and find two men inside, with video cameras and lights, and to look at the bed and know what they expect me to do. I was shaking like a leaf in several times I almost got up and bolted out the door without explanation. But this clearly was not thier first time with chicken and they know how to put me at ease and relaxing and say all the right things they had me blushing with sexual flirty flattery in no time.

Before I knew it I was sucking a complete strangers cock in front of a camera. I have to pause here and say I am not normally a slut like this. This just got in my mind and i could not stop it. I've only had sex with two people before this and I believe I love them both fairly deeply and it was not just about sex. This was different, this was nothing like my previous experiences, this was this was raw, animalistic, and even dirty. This was not being loved this was being "done","banged" ;,"used", being fucked. I felt so exposed, so opened. I was just a prop or a tool; not a person and certainly not a partner, I was an object for the shoot. I was told things like bend this way lift your leg that way, open your mouth wide, take this, take that, look right into the camera when I do this or that. They told me to smile and tell the camera how much I loved it and to moan, even beg. They slapped my ass, called me disgusting names and even some i had never heard befor. And most degrading was the close ups of my pussy, asshole, and cum creamed face. When I was done fucking the first guy they switched and I blew off the camera man for a quick second cum shot and I was not paid extra.

I have never been treated that way before, and as odd as it sounds I have to tell you I have never loved sex as much as I did on that shoot. I don't want to be a porn star this was just for a thrill and some quick cash. But I can tell you right now I am doing this again! Likely a few times, and hopefully I'll be able to stop. Fuck I wish I had a bf who treated me like this but I am 18 and know nobody like that.

So is it normal to like this?