A small town girl I went off to college upstate. The second week there I went with some kids to a party. A guy I met there got me outside and took my virginity face down on the hood of his car. I couldn't even see his face as he was doing that to me. The rest of the evening he kept me as his girlfriend and groped me and kissed me and promised me more of what I had gotten outside. He got horny again and this time he took me on the couch as a lot of other kids watched. I was his girlfriend, like it or not.

He lived off campus and I had girlfriend duties which included doing his laundry and cleaning up as well as allowing him to have sex with me. As his girlfriend I had to keep his apartment clean and neat. Everything my mother had never gotten me to do at home I did for him. No one was going to criticize me for not keeping a good place for him. We had sex three or four times a week and he taught me what he liked and how to please him.

I learned to cook, I bought a cook book and taught myself. My boyfriend was not going to be treated like other girls treat their boyfriends, he was going to have a proper girlfriend, one that knew how to cook and keep his place neat and clean so he would want to come home for her. The one thing that scared me was that he was going to have sex with another girl, so I made sure that he always wanted to be with me.

But no matter how hard I worked I could never get him to call me a woman. I was always a girl. I was desperate to be considered a woman. I did everything a woman does, everything, but he still called me a girl, because he said I wasn't grown up yet. He would let me know when I became a woman.

So I got pregnant. I did it without asking him. I quit taking birth control and I got pregnant right away.

Becoming a mother was both the best thing in my life and the worst thing in my life. My boyfriend placed all the responsibility on me. I got pregnant, I take care of the child. And him, and the apartment, and everything else. I wanted to be a woman, well I became a woman in the mother sense and I wasn't twenty years old yet.

Somehow I juggled the baby and school and him and I was in my last year to graduate and I just got the urge to get pregnant again so I did. I wanted to graduate pregnant, I wanted to walk across the stage with a maternity look. I planned my pregnancy so I would be seven months on graduation. My idea was to hold my three year old in my arms and walk across the stage pregnant. I wanted everyone to see that I was already a woman and a mother. I wasn't another college kid graduating.

My third pregnancy were twins. At the age of 26 I had four kids and a man and he finally told me that I was a woman, a not so smart woman for getting myself pregnant so often and a reminder that they were my kids, but a woman nonetheless. It had taken over seven years from the day I met him for him to call me a woman. I had made it, I had finally graduated. After that he called me a woman when it was convenient, like when he wanted me to fix him something he liked for dinner, and he called me a girl because in many ways I wasn't grown up yet.

I was in my mid thirties and he still treated me like a girl. His son was getting his Eagle Scout and he told me that when I grew up I would understand things better. I surrendered. To him I was always going to be that girl at that party that he got stuck with.

One day I was at neighborhood get together and I sat to the side and watched the people, there were men and women, and there were some men who were boys and some women that were girls. I was one of the girls there. My husband was one the men there. I will always be his girl.