I suppose this is the category for this. I met my husband at work and we got involved and I sort of/didn't pay attention and I got pregnant more or less on purpose. I won't say that I didn't use the pregnancy for him to marry me. Otherwise he wasn't going to get married. We had a private ceremony, mostly because of the embarrassment to my mother that I was pregnant and showing because I was 7 plus months.

Along the way I found out that my husband has this 'friend'. She is from Colombia and works at an insurance agency that is owned by a friend of my husband's family. I also find out that she has a five year old little girl, and I am then told he is the father. None of this was ever told to me when I met him, when I announced that I was pregnant, or even when I was getting married. All this came out only after I gave birth, from my mother-in-law who just lets me know that oh by the way, my baby girl has an older sister.

I start digging, I confronted her and she told me that well she was married to him first so I was the one in the wrong. I go 'what marriage', and she says she is married to him but they live separately and I hadn't gotten pregnant he would not have married me. She doesn't care, that is what she told me, if I wanted to be married to him that was ok with her. All this at one sitting, with her little one climbing all over her mother and poking around looking at my baby. I sat back and let her know that a man cannot have two wives at the same time. Her answer was she got married in Colombia so she didn't care.

After I confronted her and got all this out of her I went to my husband and complained and told him he had to divorce his other wife. That is not going to happen, they were married in Colombia with all her family and in the church and end of the story. If I wanted to make a mess of everything then maybe I should be one that is divorced.

My family doesn't know about his secret wife. It is six months now since I found out, he doesn't live with her but she is definitely his sweetheart. The marriage in Colombia was never recognized here so I don't even know if it is valid here, all I know is that she considers herself his wife and he considers her his wife. Part of me is what the hell, he lives with me, not her and he is my 'husband' because I married him. Part of me tells me to get a lawyer involved, but then it is all going to be out in the open and everyone is going to know about it. I have no desire to get divorced, I would be content with her being is former wife.

I won't say that I didn't have a big part in this because of the way I pressured him to get married. All I know is that it s a mess.