I am a 55 year old crossdresser who has been dressing on and off since I was 12 years old. now that I am divorced and live alone I dress almost every night. I love feminine clothing and how it makes me feel when I am dressed. over the last several years I have this almost uncontrollable urge to be submissive with a man when I am dressed. I am a personal trainer for a living so I work hard to keep my body tight and in shape, and yes, I am totally smooth-shaven everywhere all year long. the problem is that I have a very successful business and if anyone ever found out about "my little secret" it would absolutely ruin me. about a year ago I remembered a client of mine telling me about a masseuse he made an appointment with, he said he was very good but he wouldn't go back because he thought the guy was a little to feminine. I asked him who he was so I would make sure to never go there. well, it wasn't long after that I made an appointment to see him. it was a very upscale studio in his home and I actually had to have a phone interview with him to get that appointment. everything was normal and then he asked what I was looking for and to be honest. I told him that after many years of fantasizing I wanted to be touched by another man and also touch if it was permitted. he made it clear that it would be fine as we would both be nude. well the day came and after I showered and shaved (everything) I went to his place. I hit the button and he answered I waited for a few seconds and he opened the door. he was very tall, well dressed and good looking and I would say about late forties. I told him I was nervous and he assured me that I would enjoy the experience and to just relax. he then showed me the massage room told me to get undressed and on the table and he would be back shortly. he came back and when I looked up he was totally naked, and very tanned I might add, and extremely well hung. so here I am and it's what I always dreamed about and I started to relax just a little. he started to work his way around me and I was loving every second of it. he said it was ok to touch him and for the first time in my life I touched another man's cock. I could feel him starting to get hard and he started asking what did I want to do and I said "I wanted to taste his cock". I got off the table and told him I wanted to get on my knees so I did and there it was, a beautiful rock hard 9" cock. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my body as I took my first cock slowly into my mouth. it was everything I thought it would be and I was in heaven. I must have done ok because it wasn't long and I could feel him tighten up and he said he was cumming. I really didn't know if I was ready to swallow so I just kept sucking and in an instant he pulled out and he shot his cum on my face and chest. what a beautiful first time experience and I smiled when I said to myself "i am officially a cocksucker". well I showered and left but not before making another appointment. I told him I wanted to experience much more and I would explain later.