I need help. Im soo weird. Im very reclusive and antisocial but im good looking and have a hot body.
My problem is that i dont like people and i always want to be nude.
Ive been an addict since my teens and have tried it all except using needles.

As i approach middle age ive given up smoking cigs and pot completly and hard liquor also. Beer and wine only.
No more hard drugs either with one exception. I still smoke crack about once a month and when i do im a fiend. I feel so stupid afterwards and depressed cause its expensive.

Heres the problem. As soon as i take the first hit i immediatly get buck naked and want to be a bitch boy exibitionist anything goes naked slave. So being alone i take bell ringing blast after blast untill im soo high that it feel awesome being naked and i walk around my back yard contimplating streaking, which ive done many times without getting caught so far. Im soo fucking high that it dosent even bother me that my dick is shrunk to a scared little turtle head nub that resembles a fat clit.
Im tall,tone,and slender with a golden tan head to toe from sunbathing nude and my sweet perfect shaved little ass jiggles wildly when i streak,dance,and bounce.
I love to shake it and it makes me so horney that my asshole throbs and twitches as i long to be spanked and flogged by men and women in a public humiliation type scenerio.
My lil weewee stays numb and small,but feels euphoric as it cowers tawtly above my large shaved nuts.

I dont know what my problem is or what to do about it,but i cant stop smoking crack completly cause i constantly fantisize being a bi nude sex slave whore and i need a release once a month.
I have a family and i dont want to shame them by acting on it so i fiend alone and pretend foolishly taking chances somtimes for the excitment.

I used to be able to smoke slow and ration it but that was when id drink hard and mix in pills and pot and cigs. Less rock but a crazier end result with riskier drunkin stupidity.
Ill elaborate with a detailed example of my behavior back then when i first explored my bicuriousity alone.

Id get home from work with some shit and lock doors,pull shades.
Go to toliet and take blast.
Wipe ass,wash,get naked.
Spend rest of day and all night doing shots,one hits,blasts,and watching porn.
In between indulging id entertain myself with certain activities.
First id set up mirrors to give easy viewing of self at every angle.
Tape pics of hot nude and clothed women all over walls for audience and to kiss,lick,and slurp on and have word bubbles by thier heads to fill in as needed.

Now cums the fun! Shave entire body smooth and clean leaving only brows,lashes,and long flowing bleach blonde hair which id decorate with pink,purple,and neon green extensions.
Thickin lashes,glitter,eye shadow,and mascera.
Hot pink lip gloss and blush to finish my face. Damm id look like a hot nasty slut!

Next id put on a pink dog collar studded with faux diamonds spelling SLAVE.
Id paint my nails,all 20,with glossy hot pink glitter polish.
Slave braclets on ankles and wrists and put in my tounge,nipple,and bellybutton piercings.
My danty homade waistband reads "ANAL SEX SLAVE" decorated with transparent letter beads.

Now i apply the temp princess,fairy,and unicorn girly glitter tats artistacly all over my shaved nude body.

Finally with bold floresant washable markers i decorated the rest of my sexy naked flesh.
"I LOVE TO SUCK COCKS" across my upper abs.
"GOO GUZZLIN FOO" at my waist line.
"FUCK ME" on my ass cheeks,with 2 arrows swooped under,point meeting at my asshole.
I add more as i get wasted till im covered in degradation.

At this point i down some shots and blasts till my penis nearly vanishes and i feel like such a hot slutty sexy little nympho twink cum whore slave as i film myself dancing in the mirrors.

I spank my ass raw with thin bamboo switches and i suck on big salty sausages wishing they were cocks.
I use vanilla pudding as cum and lick it off letting some drip down my body as i dance and jiggle my marked up ass.

Finally i adjust the camera to film me being face and ass fucked doggy style by a rigged lubed zuccini on a stick that i ride while choaking on a cream covered sausage i rigged also.
This goes on a while as i gulp whiskey and do blasts during numbing my throat and asshole and i ride the fuck outta that footlong veggie and gag on the salty link.

I eventually notice a well earned gape and am satisfied i have enough hot footage to watch later so i release the hard monster from my satisfied cornhole.

Damn i remember feeling soo relaxed afterwards and i often fantisize that im being gangfucked by studs while thier girlfriends are laughing,spitting,and masterbating on me while they slap my cheeks and spread them for the pounding cocks pushing on thier mens asses till they pump me full of jizz. After they all drain balls in me the girls pound my loose raw sloppy gape with mid evil strap ons while i toungefuck,lick,and suck out thier cocked up shit holes thier wipeing my face with.

Just a dream,o well. Anyway to finish off the night i fill in all the empty spaces on my body with writting.
"GANGBANG ME,PRISON BITCH,SOAK ME IN SPEW,RAPE ME,PIECE O MEAT,BITCH BOY,ANAL SLAVE 4 $,CUM IN MY MOUTH,ASS.CUM ON MY FACE,HAIR.I LOVE TO SUCK ON BALLS LICK COCKS AND DRINK THICK GOOEY NUT JUICE. I♡2 DICKS IN MY ASS AND MOUTH.ECT.
Then i chug the rest of my booze,power smoke crack and go streaking. More to cum later.