In college I became involved with another girl, to the point where we came out to our friends and family. At 27 a man I knew from my youth took me and finished himself in me and turned my head around until I became his and this led to me breaking up with my sweetheart. This was devastating to both of us because we did not want to end it. I left him after a while but went back to him, it was just too hard to be away. I became his wife in every sense and delivered a boy and girl to him.

At 32 my sweetheart came to me and asked for us to have some kind of life together. My life is torn, I can't stop being his wife and I have two kids, I am seeing my sweetheart on the side. I ran away from her and confessed it all to him, I am his wife. I got a serious talking too, far more serious than I expected. I know that I am cheating on him, but I can't stop seeing her.

My life is a mess, I know in the end he will forgive me, he can't help it, he took me away from her but he wants me to be his solely, his wife and live my life with him and my kids. I can't understand why I go see her and have sexual relations with her. I go so far as to tell her that I love her and I miss her, and I have told her I will not leave my husband. I wish I didn't love her so much, but I do. I wish I could just be straight for him and for my kids.