My husband who is in his mid fifties moved out to live with a younger woman. At first we were going to get divorced, but when he figured out what it was going to cost him he left her and moved back in. I don't kid myself, I know he is still seeing her, I can tell. The hurt is over and as long as he doesn't embarrass me or the kids, I am not going to make a scene.

I am not the only lonely housewife, several of my friends have the same problem. Some got divorced and a couple got back together. A divorced friend of mine told me to cool my jets and let him get her out of his system, that the cost to me in getting divorced was far too big, soon he would come back. There are eight women in my reading club, all of us have husbands who have gone on a walkabout. What we ask ourselves is why?

He has a wife, he has a home, he has kids, he has a real life, someone who is going to look after him when he is old, why does he run off behind some girl who is half his age. My husband's girlfriend is at least educated and she has a professional job, but some of my friend's husbands got involved with women who have no education. In our town there isn't really a place to hide, so it is not as if we don't know who they are sleeping with.

Going back to my friend's advise, she is not out of his system, she is deep under his skin, and if he could bring her home for dinner he would. Like I said, I am over the hurt, as long as she is upright and doesn't do something to hurt us, I am not interfering. I have told him to keep a low profile with her, he can't take her out in public.

The other night, he was laying in bed and I could 'feel' him wanting her to be with him. I didn't, but I came so close to just telling him to go be with her. I am that close to just calling it what it is. I don't want to go to hell for supporting his adultery, I suppose I am looking for a middle ground to walk. And I remind myself, she is a nice girl, I guess that makes it easier for me. I can see them together, which is so far down the slippery slope that I can't see the top anymore. I can't count the number of times I thought about just calling him and telling him to bring her home. Like the other night, just go to her and be happy with her. Whether it is part of the big plan I don't know, but she is part of my life. I am tired of splitting the baby, I need to move on to the next level with her. I wonder how she would react if I told him to just bring her here and we talk about how we are going to manage this together.