Hi, I'm a 25 year old female living in Yorkshire and my confession covers the time frame of 2002-2015 My confession is about my drug addiction from a young age while living on a council estate, From age 12-15 I have had sex with over 12 people I'm not here to brag on about this and I know its terrible and I'm not proud or I do look back in regret. I have problems holding down a relationship and the one guy who actually gave a damn about me is seeing someone else and I have no chance now but struggling to move on.

I have detailed the events to the best of my memory some names I changed by most are there actually names.

--- 2002

My confession starts back in 2002 I was 12 years old and just started High School in Leeds, I was not really what most would call a popular girl in primary school and when I made that transition to High School things changed. I had good grades in primary school and I was placed into high set, unfortunately for me I didn't know anyone in this set and I was placed next to this girl named Sophie.

Me and Sophie had much in common we both didn't know anyone in our classes, we both didn't have many friends and lived close to one another but the similarities didn't end there. Sophie had this crush on this boy in our class and she would never get close enough to go and speak to him, this boy was cute and was popular. Like most popular kids at our school some had a reputation and rumour had it he smoked behind the sports hall inner garden.

Me and Sophie decided to skip the same class he did and follow him, well he was behind the sports hall and he was smoking a cigarette. Sophie and this boy named Lee hit it off and after a week or two of talking with him after classes she finally asked him.
Lee got busted at school for smoking in school and he asked us if we wanted to try it, we said yeah but not on the school premises.

Lee said he knew of this place near were we lived an abandoned car sales dealership this place was pretty creepy, The building had not been long abounded and all the way across the car forecourt where the cars used to sit was a security outpost but it was easy to gain access there was an alleyway around the back with this broken window. We all went inside and Lee said take a look around but there is no power showed us around on the second floor and there was a room which had some red sofas and old vending machine, we sat down and there we had our first experience of smoking.

We smoked there a couple of times per week and things changed when Lee invited some of his friends from another school. There was two boys one of them was really cute and a girl who dressed really trashy uniform, her skirt was short and she didn't wear any socks and wore white trainers. The school Lee's friends where from had a reputation for it's poor attendance and had a reputation of students behaviour being out of control.

While he all hanged out together in this room, Sophie said she need the toilet and I followed her. While in the toilets Sophie was telling me that his girl named Ellie-Ann who came with the boy other boys was flirting with Lee and it was pretty obviously she was. When we went back one of the other boys (not the cute one) offered everyone some weed he said he had stolen from his older brother, me and Sophie declined and Lee and the other girl Ellie-Ann started smoking some. They must have gotten high because Ellie-Ann who was older then us by a year was telling us how she "shagged" this one boy and "was screwed by another" and how she is meeting his boy from year 10 for sex.

Lee had been laughing to what she had been saying and Ellie-Ann said she would fuck Lee if he was single, Well Sophie was not happy so she left. I got up to follower her and The cute boy asked if we would be back tomorrow I said we don't know but need to get back school on leaving the room all I heard was "Jumped up bitch" from Ellie-Ann.

We didn't go back there the next day, on Monday morning Sophie came into school and she changed she was not dressed in conservative away. She had a new skirt what was shorter then usual... our school policy was that skirts must be around knee length but Sophie came into class with a skirt that was thigh high and socks that were almost over knee she looked different with her hair up in a bun. Some of the Boy's in our maths class looked distracted and I asked her whats with the change and she said she was sick of not being noticed and was meeting Lee after the 4 lesson, She asked me if I wanted to go and I asked who was going, She said Lee said, that It was Lee and the boy I said was cute would turn up If I was going.

I agreed to go and we skipped RE so Lee, Sophie and Me meet up with the cute boy who's name was Sean we did the usual and smoked until Ellie-Ann showed up she turned up like she usually did and Sophie said look what the cats dragged in... Ellie-Ann gave Sophie a dirty look and threw some packaged condoms on the sofa laughing, Sean said who's getting lucky later then, she said... "What do you mean lucky later... and she said that's what I didn't use" and just laughed while she started to light up.

Ellie-Ann had started flirting with Lee yet again and started to annoy Sophie, so Sophie grabbed Lee by the hand and she dragged him out of the room. Me and Sean and Ellie-Ann started talking and she said you need to sort you dress sense out and started saying how good I would look, and commented on Sophie's change saying has much has I don't like the cow she looks good. She asked me if I wanted to go shopping and she gave me her number, Sean asked for my number and I gave it to him and then left them, I could not find Lee or Sophie so walked home.

As the weeks went by Ellie-Ann started messaged and I decided to meet her on a weekend as Sophie was always busy these days or too distracted in class and in our English class she had moved from desks to sit next to Lee. I convinced my mother to allow me to wear something a little looser, so me and Ellie-Ann went shopping and Ellie found me a skirt which was much like hers... I said I was not sure about the skirt and she convinced me to go and try it on. So I changed into it and it felt a little tight and the length was thigh high pretty much like Ellie-Ann's, I tried to get out of buying it after I told Ellie-Ann it was too expensive and In the back of my mind knew my mother would not approve.

Ellie-Ann said okay and she told me to wait outside while she tried out this new top... when we got back to her house she removed her skirt and the skirt I tried on was under it, she had stolen it.
She gave it to me saying there is no excuse not to wear it, and she gave me a pair of long navy socks she said that will match and told me to keep them because how much she hated wearing them.

I turned up for school the following Monday with the skirt and socks up my legs and felt like a right slapper, but after the week I noticed other girls starting to do it. The next RE class I skipped out on alone Sophie had more or less had stopped turning up for school and rumour had it the truant officer had been informed and was on her parents case. I meet up with Ellie-Ann and Sean at the abandoned car sales dealership and I tried my first hit on weed... I felt so claim to relaxed and Ellie-Ann seemed more friendly towards me at this point then she ever did. Sean vanished to use the toilet and Ellie-Ann said how much he liked me and wanted me. I asked her want did he say and she said he would "fuck my brains out". I was soon to be 13 and we have had sex education at school and was not in any rush to try it, I asked Ellie-Ann if she had really had sex and she said yeah, I asked who was it with and she told me it was with some lads she knew from another school and some guy she met from Myspace and she told me she'd had sex with 3 people.

Sean returned and Ellie-Ann told me she was going and said "don't do something I would do" laughing too herself. Sean offered me a join of weed and we smoked for the next half hour some where in the middle of getting high and talking about him seating next to me we started talking about girls that fancied him and he showed me this message from one girl asking him if he wanted to try sex, Sean kept complementing me on how different I looked from the last time he saw me, we kissed on that red sofa and I was high off my face and I asked him If he had done it before?, He said he had but never said who with and when. I asked him how it felt and he told me how good it was, I said too him Ellie-Ann told me you wanted to "fuck my brains out" and he went bright red in the face. I said too him I would let him, I told him that this would be my first time and he checked outside to make sure we were alone and we had awkward sex he managed to get the tight skirt off me and put one of the condoms on that Ellie-Ann had thrown onto the sofa previously, he was in and out and It hurt like hell he finished up and I didn't enjoy it he was he removed the condom and it was full of cum, He asked me if I had enjoyed it and I just yes I pull my skirt back on went back to school with my mind all over the place and full of worrying thoughts what I learnt from sex education like getting pregnant or an STI.

Sophie and I had grown distant from our friendship, she said that I and that skank Ellie-Ann had been bad mouthing her behind her back and I told her that was not true. I told Sophie she had been absent for sometime from school and I had no one else to hangout with or talk too while she was off with Lee or whatever she had been doing. I needed a friend too...


--- 2003

Me and Sophie didn't talk for awhile and she removed me from her Myspace account and blocked me on MSN, So I thought to hell with Sophie and ended up spending more and more time with Ellie-Ann. The following year I moved to year 8 and turned 13 still the youngest in my year and more or less stuck in the same situation with no improvement when I moved to year 7 from primary school, but Sophie fell behind in school and dropped two sets below her grade because of all the class she missed.

later in the year I started meeting Ellie-Ann on the estate she lived on and it was a complete dump compared to where I lived. We hung out with her friends at the community centre close to her home after school, Ellie-Ann started doing my make up for me and we started drinking behind the community when It closed, Ellie-Ann would flirt with the a older guy named Jayden would ran the community centre of an evening.

Ellie-Ann said she fancied him and before he closed up at 7pm she would slap her make up on pull her skirt up and wait for Jayden to leave from the backdoor fire-exit and she would mess around by whistling to him he would make small talk while eyeing us up and then leave.

One night we where smoking some weed (we had hidden under the rocks out side the back) and downing some WKD blue's one evening in the dark and we didn't notice Jayden he closing up the place early. Jayden walked over to us both and asked us for a light... he started smoking something that was more potent then what we had been getting stoned on.

When Ellie-Ann asked him what he had it that joint, Jayden said it's his medication and told us we are better off just keeping to the weed and laughed. Jayden asked us if we had nothing better to do then just hang around here all the time and we told him not really.

He said sure you girls don't have boyfriends or something to keep you busy, we told him we didn't and we are both single and he said I'm surprised and joked saying are you two really lesbians... Ellie-Ann was in stitches and told him why don't you come and find out... he said thanks for the offer your a little too young and said he was going home. Ellie-Ann just whistled at him and he just put his hand up while walking away.

Ellie-Ann wanted to come back next Monday evening and try and chat him up, I agreed and me and Ellie-Ann texted most of the weekend. On that Monday evening I arranged to meet Ellie-Ann at 4.30/5pm after school finished. I put on my eye liner and pulled up my socks over keens and skirt up to thighs, I waited for Ellie-Ann while smoking some weed.
around 7pm Jayden locked the place down and asked me what I was doing all alone out here at this time of night, I said I'm waiting for my friend. Jayden start rolling that potent into a joint and smoked it, he asked me where Ellie-Ann were tonight, I told him I did not know.

I nervously asked Jayden what was that stuff he kept smoking, He said its good for stress and keeps him calm, he told me its was too cold for him to hang around and asked If I wanted a lift somewhere. I told him its okay I'm waiting for Ellie-Ann He waited around for about 10 minutes and Ellie-Ann finally texted me back saying she was unable to make it tonight because of some personally issues with her family and her older sister,

I told him she was not able to come and he said okay well I will drop you off home or something if you want.
I got into the passenger side of his car and he started relighting his joint on the car lighter.
I asked him is it like weed? and he said It was better and asked If I wanted to try some, I declined and said I was light headed and just needed a lift home. He told me to open the glove compartment in the car and get the brown bag that was inside and open it.

I opened the brown bag and there was a clear bag inside with very fine white powder, He said it was a type of crushed herb and its like weed just better quality. He started rolling some in with some tobacco and passed me this Joint.
I said I'm okay and he said fine, and started the car he smoked his Joint while driving and I must have passively got a little high. He asked If I was okay and I just smiled and he told me to this the Joint, He pulled up on the backend of some council estate on the edge of Leeds and he lite the Joint up for me.

I smoked it and he told me that he could not smoke near his house because he told his girlfriend he quit and she would be pissed if she found out. We talked about crap and I got really high, and very light headed I remember getting this warm feeling of good well-being and I became really calm, my speech had slowed down. He asked me if I was okay and do I need to get some fresh air, I remember telling him I was good and I had my head leaning on his arm... I started talking about Sean and He asked who it was I told him some boy I went out with and he said this Sean guy was lucky and I told him about Sean just wanting sex... Jayden told me he was immature and its his lose which made me feel better.

I told Jayden what Ellie-Ann said to me that sure wanted to "Fuck my brains out" he laughed hard and said did he? I told him we had sex and no he never... Jayden just said to me boys your ages don't know what they are doing or how to treat a girl, he made me laugh... and smile.

I asked him confidently expecting an awkward reply "You know what your doing" I never expect him to laugh and replied with "he never had any complaints..."

The car was silent for a minute or too while I finished the Joint and I started seeing the sky blurring out with lightning going across it. I told Jayden Ellie-Ann thinks your cute, Jayden said I think you two are just teases I was close to him and it felt good.

He clumsily kissed my cheek and I never stopped him I smiled and kissed me with his tongue after about 5 minutes of us kissing. He asked me If I liked him and I nervously said I think your cute... we kissed some more and he said he would shag me if I wanted... I felt all the blood rush to my head and had an amazing adrenaline rush too I was stoned out my brains and said I need to be home soon... I felt so stupid after saying that... and he said he would get me home for 8.30pm he said he like me and I said I like you two and I remember Jayden trying to move over from the drivers seat to my side of the car and was unable too, he reached over and pushed my chain back and moved between my legs I remember moving my left leg to the gear stick has I'm quite tall for my age and let him between me laughing how he stubbled and hit his head on the roof.

We started kissing and I felt his hands on my hips, I told me how lucky he was and I how pretty I really am.
I felt his hand were wondering down my skirt... I enjoy the attention from this guy and all I could focus on was what he had just told me. I remember him winding the car seat back almost flat and started pushing against me I didn't want to stop him all my senses had been cut off and I felt like I was walking on a cloud. I opened my legs slightly and I felt him push his dick into me. I've never been wet before and I had this overwhelming feeling of tingling throughout my body and my heart was racing out of control.

I didn't want this to feeling to end and I know this guy had sensed this happening to me... my breathing was irregular and I had been struggling to focus on anything else but my breathing. I immediately felt him get up off me and I not being able to focus I asked him want he was doing and he replied with something on the lines of I'm just repositioning myself the car is too small. I heard his belt buckle hit the plastic on the side of his car door and the awkward shuffling of clothing, I felt the tension of his body weight back upon on me again and while we kissed I felt his hands moving slowly back on me legs, trying to push my skirt up which was too tight. I Subconsciously knew what he had done I then felt his dick on the inner side of my thigh and the awkward gesture of him pushing it against my underwear simulating sex.

This went on for a while but seemed like hours, I tried to move my arms around my back and reach for the zip on my skirt but with his weight on me and my muscles in my arms just would not work... they felt really weak and just so heavy.

I tried to pull my skirt down and just couldn't do it and I started getting frustrated and panicked a little. Jayden told me to just relax and he pulled me forward and unzipped my skirt all they way to the bottom and threw it onto the driver side and I heard him say OMG and then is that better, I felt no need to talk I just felt embarrassed and had my arms folded over me and he told me I how nice I looked he continued to kiss me and then I didn't feel so exposed. He grinding on me and I body felt heavy and I tried to push back... He told me how wet I felt and I said I know and it feels good.

He asked me want I wanted next and didn't say anything, I forced my hand over down to my underwear and pushed it to one side hoping that would speak for its self... The message was obviously loud and clear he had started to rub the base of dick over the lips and sides of my vagina.

I could feel myself pulsing and had no control over it thinking I was about to melt. I told him to slow down and he could not so I told him to stop and he stopped... I said to him I don't have protection and asked him to get some. He said there are no shops out her and continued to look inside his glove compartment looking for something, He said he was sorry he does not had a condom and maybe It was best that we stopped... and I wished I had done.

I told him I felt really good and I didn't want to just stop now and he said we can just kiss and he didn't want to stop doing that or have sex. We kissed and I could feel him again pushing against my vagina with the shaft of his dick. I made a clouded decision I will regret for the rest of my life and I told him I wanted a good shag( classy i know) he told me we could not and I told I wanted him and I tried to feel where is dick was positioned and was unable to focus on him.

He said he could not hold back and slowly pushed the tip of his dick into me and I just moaned with pleasure mixed with this overwhelming sharp pain. I could feel myself being stretched and I had to close my legs tight because I was scared of any damage. He asked me if that was okay I told him yeah and he said I'm too tight and could not get himself all the way in... I pushed down on him and within minutes I had what I believe was my first real orgasm I will always remember my body going limp and I blacked out for a split second the feeling was too intense for me to explain I then heard him moaning and him saying I OMG, OMG, OMG.... and he started to twitch and I felt a massive warm sensation inside of me.

We stopped and I told him I needed some fresh air and he waited for me in the car, while I tried to put my skirt back together but had problems so I sat down for 10 minutes, I felt really cold on my legs I managed to dress myself and I could see white marks down my socks and I tried to wipe it off with my hands. Jayden sobered me up by stopping at a shop and buying me a bottle of Lucozade and letting me throw up on the path.

I told Jayden to drop me off at the top of my road and I asked him If I can see him again tomorrow and he said yeah but would need to keep us quite because his family are religious and would disown him I was happy that night and agreed. I staggered down my street and sat outside my mother house for half hour just to recover and get my head straight, I wanted for the lights downstairs to go out and then let myself in I climbed the stairs trying to be quiet
as I could be but the more quiet I was the more noise I made. I fell into bed and my mother came into my room asked if I was okay and she had been trying to get hold of me, She asked me where I had been all night and told her Ellie-Ann sister went missing and I was at hers looking for her and I'm just tied because I walked home.

That very next morning I had a major hangover or headache, I felt sick and I panicked because my socks and bed sheet had stains all over them. I pulled them all in the wash and I was unable to stop throwing up, Ellie-Ann texted me asking if we were going to meet that later at the garage showroom and I said no I'm not well, she was concerned and asked me what was wrong I ignored her for the day and she messaged me later in the day asking me if I was okay I told her know and I did something stupid, I told her I had sex last night with a stranger, she asked who? and I said someone I knew from school and I cannot stop throwing up... Ellie-Ann told me to go get the morning after pill and I didn't want to but she said you should have taken the pill or get injection I was embarrassed about it and ended up at my doctors drop in sessions and was given the pill with a lecture.

---- 2004

in 2004 a I was in year I was almost 14 years of age and my grades had been sleeping and found myself In the same Maths class as Sophie we didn't really talk or sit next to each other, she'd been in this set for awhile and made a new group of friends we spoke on occasions but nothing more then Hi or What you been doing...

Me and Ellie-Ann had not really seen each other for sometime but spoke on Facebook every now and again I made new friends and tried to get into a group that would not land me in trouble. Well that never happened actually things got worse for me... these girls I made friends with, there were all roughly a year older then me and some of them had boyfriends... one in particle, Rachel was always getting into trouble in classes for texting him

one day in school I was talking to Rachel(her real name) she was quite popular and also gossiping, She told me her boyfriend was in his second year studying at college and they were going out in a couple of weeks in Leeds as it was student night and there was a Rave on.

Rachel told me her brother was DJ'ing and he would get us free tickets... she said it would be fun because it was foam party... At the time I never knew what that was and I told her I didn't believe her but that changed when she had pictures on her Flickr account and It looked fun and told her I'd be up for it, But my Mother would never let me go.

The next couple of weeks went by and Rachel was talking with her other friend who sat next to her in one of our classes about this Rave and they had arranged a sleep over on the weekend and asked me to come that had a cover story of the other girls mother, they planned a story of them going Iceskating then going to the pictures and Rachel's parents would be picking them up for the sleep over. I sold this story to my Mother at the time I practiced what I was going to say to my Mother and because she knew when I had been lying and I needed to convince myself it was just a sleep over she bought the story but told me she would making a check up call.

I will post the next section soon very tired and need sleep...