My father is an engineer and my mother a nurse. I have a younger sister. As the older sister I was the responsible one and I had most of the household duties growing up. By the time I was 14 I could cook, clean and take care of a baby. I was heavy into church and school and had very little available times for boys. I lost my virginity to four boys on a beach one summer, which I never told anyone about. When my little sister lost her virginity in the eighth grade I had to deal with her problem and made all the arrangements. I got her on the pill at planned parenthood telling them the pills were for me. My sister was boy crazy and she liked to have sex. Other than that afternoon at the beach I did not have sex, except from time to time with myself.

After college I moved some 60 miles away for a job and through a rental service took a room in a house with two other women. At the time I did not consider myself a woman, nor them, we were all under 25 and I thought of all as girls. The word woman did not exist in our vocabulary. The house had three rooms, but after meeting them I agreed to room with one of the girls and we kept the other room as a spare.

Rooming meant that we dressed, undressed, showered, sat on the toilet, shaved, masturbated, farted, in front of each other. We developed a routine of staying naked as long as possible, and we helped each other shave our private parts. On one occasion when I was shaving her, we did this on the bed laying back on a towel while the other one shaved, she grabbed my head and told me she just needed to get off. It was my first experience doing that and I got into it until I got her to get off. After she got off I kept her legs open and gently touched and kissed and cleaned her out with my tongue. I also grabbed her boobs and told her to grab mine and we laid on the bed and kissed. We had gone over the edge and there was no coming back.

We started to shower together and to sleep together, we started to kiss each other on the lips when we met and when we parted, we started to use the L word, and we slept only in nightgowns because it was easier to get naked. We cuddled and slept embraced. We didn't so much experiment with sex, and just fell into it, bit by bit we became more and more used to each other and lost all inhibitions about oral sex and stimulating each other. Breast play was a big part of our routine, I have very sensitive nipples she can just about get me off with breast play. Our other roommate took it in stride and claimed later that she saw it coming. Maybe she did, I sure didn't.

Our neighbor next door had a German shepherd dog, he was nice but big. One day I was over at my neighbor's helping him with some household duties, I mostly kept his house for him, when his dog was lying on the kitchen floor and his penis came out. His penis was long, and red and I stared at it. My neighbor put his hands on my neck and asked me if I had ever had a penis. That even girls like me liked a penis once in a while. I told him about my experience on the beach and that as far a I was concerned that is all the penis I ever wanted.

But he didn't let go of my neck and then he put his arms around me and cupped my breasts and started to play with them, I tried to shake him off, but really just let him because it felt so good. I knew standing there that he was going to fuck me. While he was fondling my breasts and kissing me up and down my neck I looked around and tried to guess where I was going to get fucked. When his hand reached down between my legs alarms started to go off as he felt me into heat. I could feel his dick against my ass, until I asked him to just go ahead and fuck me. He took out his dick and I pushed my pants down and leaned on the kitchen table while he fucked me.

All the time he fucked me I looked into space, imagining his dogs penis, his thrusting got heavier and I felt him knock against me as he came. I turned and as I pulled my pants up I reached for some Kleenex that were on the counter and I wiped him clean. After that he fucked me regularly, I came over to clean his house and fix him dinner and he would fuck me, in the living room, in the bedroom, in the kitchen, where ever he could get my pants down. I couldn't get enough and all I thought about was my little sister when she was a teen, except that this was happening to me when I was 30.

My relationship at home changed, I went from actively having sex with her to primarily sleeping with her and spending quality time with her. I eventually confessed that he was fucking me. It wasn't a surprise in that sense, we agreed to continue to live together and sleep together, and to have sex, but it was far more subdued sex, it became long nights of holding and caressing topped off with a moment of excitement once we got heated up.

Many times I thought about getting together and the three of us having sex, but I knew better. I lived with her and we had been together for almost eight years and I was just getting suppressed sexual inhibitions out of my system. But that took a long time, I went over to get sex almost daily, I kept house for him that my mother would have been proud of, and I cooked for him, I wanted to the be the perfect home maker for him. If I was a good home maker he would reward me, if I wasn't a good home maker he would punish me and deny me. I was a very good home maker.

Eventually, I had to move in with him and be with him full time. My girlfriend of my twenties remains what my therapist says is my emotional anchor and my lesbian partner. I am a lesbian he says, through and through, a true lesbian and she is my life partner. But I live with a man and I keep up with him and I have sex with him. My alter ego is to be a full time home maker and for that I need a man. Sometimes when I am laying with my girlfriend, when things are quiet we hug until it hurts. Am I hers or his, or both, right now both.