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Gay Stories
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Bi-Sexual Male / 54
Family Dynamics:
We cannot choose our families, however, we can choose who is our friends and our extended family. I was 29 and Paul was 26 when we met the first time. Paul had fallen in love with an older man, dropped our of college at 19 and move half way across the country to live with him. He had enrolled in a local college and was working fill-time but things soured and Paul became the punching bag for his lover. Estranged from his family Paul felt helpless in his situation so he took the abuse until it landed him in the hospital. He denied it was gay spousal abuse but a male nurse told him he knew the truth about his lover and that Paul "was not the first one who got too old for him." Paul managed to hold back some money and in a matter of an hour loaded his car with his clothes and left on a drive across country to a secure location - thanks to that male nurse in ER.
The company I worked for had bought another small company and I was sent to oversee its coming under the new company umbrella - transitioning the employees to our philosophy and reporting. Paul was the assistant bookkeeper and we hit it off immediately. Neither one of us looked or acted gay, but I knew the minute I looked into his eyes. I learned that Paul was living in a rooming house, was the 10th of 13 children, his dad passed when he was 11 and his mom and a sister had recently passed - within 45 days of each other. I ran into Paul one night at an adult theater and things went from there. By the time my project was complete I was in love with him and asked him to leave his job and move in with me - some 1500 miles away. Needless to say he had reservations. I returned to home base and between there and new assignments only saw Paul once in 6 months, although we talked several times a week.
A year later he gave up his job and moved in with me at my home base, knowing I would be on the road 3 to 5 days a week. After a year I was promoted to a Regional VP position and relocated to the west coast. Paul and I settled in quickly and he enrolled in a local college to complete his last year and took care of the home and our dogs. I've never been more happy in my life and the same for Paul. I knew he seldom ever spoke to a siblings, however, Nate, his brother (3 years older) was without a doubt his favorite. Unfortunately, they would talk maybe once ever 12 to 15 months. Nate was a successful corporate executive who traveled the country and had zero associations with his sisters and brothers. Truth is other than Paul and Nate the rest were Jerry springer specials. After 9 years with Paul I met his brother and the first time Paul had seen him since their mother's funeral.
Four years later Nate, his wife and 3 kids moved to a town 2 hours south of us as Nate was now allowed to work remote; 3 days a month at the home office and the rest on the road while working out of a home office. Nate and family came to visit us several times and he and Paul began to talk on a more frequent basis. His wife was not pleased with Paul and I being gay, but she tolerated us for her husband. Their kids loved Paul and I and had us meet them for dinner during school trips to our town. Four years ago Paul and I drove down to their house for a BBQ. We were all but completely ignored by the wife and the youngest son. They spoke only to be polite. We left early and never returned. Nate knew we had been given the cold shoulder and was so apologetic. Nevertheless, Nate's calls to Paul stopped as did emails and we left it alone. We knew once a month Nate drove the interstate, 4 blocks from our house, on his monthly visit to clients just north of where we lived, and one in our town.
Christmas, Paul sent the kids gifts, as well as his brother and sister-in-law. Our Christmas card was in Nate's hand writing - post marked after Christmas. Paul had told me that Nate was the first cock he ever sucked and it went on all through their teens, even with some cousins. December 29 was the day my world collapsed when Paul was killed in an auto accident running errands for the company he worked for. The very core of me being was shaken from his foundation and I will never ever be the same again. I did the right thing calling and leaving a message at Nate's home phone and it was 21 hour later when she called me with her sarcastic tone asking what I wanted. I told her Paul had been killed in an accident I needed them to know so his name could be released to the media and I hung up.
A few minutes later Nate called all broken up to the point neither of us could talk. They arrived the next morning and stayed through the service. Nate is so eaten up with guilt he is calling me every few days and has driven to my house half a dozen times to check on me. A couple of weeks ago I told him he was calling to check on me more since Paul passed than he had to check on Paul in 10 years... and I if I needed him for anything I had his number.
Friday Nate called to tell me he would be waiting for me at my house when I got off work and would take me to dinner. I am a big man and know Nate needs to deal with his quilt so I agreed. At dinner he said he knew Paul had enlightened me about them when the were kids, and to please never let the cat out of the bag. I told him Paul and I had no secrets and I would never betrays Paul's confidence to divulge anything about him or anyone in Paul's life. Then he said, Paul told him I was the best sex he had ever had in his entire life and it was more than our emotional, psychological, connection. I didn't comment motioning for some more wine.
When we got back to the house Nate called his wife to tell her to go to bed he would be late as he and I were talking and he needed to bond with me some more. I was shocked at that comment to the women who doesn't like gay men, even when they do not fit the swishy gay profile. He talked and I listened as his conversation went back to him and Paul having sex as teens and even in their 20's while Paul was living with the other man. Paul had not told me that, so I took it at face value as Nate moved on to ask about my sex life and if there were any men on the horizon. I told him my head knew Paul was gone but not my heart. He said, but have you woke up with a boner yet? When you do that is a sign the trauma of his death is lessening and I your are getting back to normal.
when Nate went to leave around 10 PM we were in the foyer when he reached up grabbed me and hugged me saying, "your my brother-in-law and we both loved Paul." I leaned back as he said "and we both loved sex with him. If you ever feel the need for sex with me, let me know. It would give me great satisfaction to experience the same sex with you as my brother and I did with each other - although it was a long time ago, I still jack off thinking about me and my brother in a 69."
Is my sex driver back? Yes. However, it was mid February before I felt a stirring in loins. It was a week or so later before I jacked off - as my sex drive is back and I have a strong sex drive. Paul and I have had sex 8 times in one day - we were both horny fuckers. Is there anyone I have interest in? No. I do not want a boyfriend, perhaps a friend with benefits but not mine and Paul's friends. I am conflicted with his brothers come on to me - however, he is handsome, just like Paul. Part of me wants to call Nate and invite him to dinner next month, part of me wants to tell him to go to hell. I do know this: I LOVE Paul with every ounce of my being and always will. Paul and I have had a number of 3 ways (not in town), so sex with another man would not be a betrayal to him or our love. The hurt is still real, not as raw and I am jacking off a lot. I am truly conflicted and in more unchartered emotional waters.
We cannot choose our families, however, we can choose who is our friends and our extended family. I was 29 and Paul was 26 when we met the first time. Paul had fallen in love with an older man, dropped our of college at 19 and move half way across the country to live with him. He had enrolled in a local college and was working fill-time but things soured and Paul became the punching bag for his lover. Estranged from his family Paul felt helpless in his situation so he took the abuse until it landed him in the hospital. He denied it was gay spousal abuse but a male nurse told him he knew the truth about his lover and that Paul "was not the first one who got too old for him." Paul managed to hold back some money and in a matter of an hour loaded his car with his clothes and left on a drive across country to a secure location - thanks to that male nurse in ER.
The company I worked for had bought another small company and I was sent to oversee its coming under the new company umbrella - transitioning the employees to our philosophy and reporting. Paul was the assistant bookkeeper and we hit it off immediately. Neither one of us looked or acted gay, but I knew the minute I looked into his eyes. I learned that Paul was living in a rooming house, was the 10th of 13 children, his dad passed when he was 11 and his mom and a sister had recently passed - within 45 days of each other. I ran into Paul one night at an adult theater and things went from there. By the time my project was complete I was in love with him and asked him to leave his job and move in with me - some 1500 miles away. Needless to say he had reservations. I returned to home base and between there and new assignments only saw Paul once in 6 months, although we talked several times a week.
A year later he gave up his job and moved in with me at my home base, knowing I would be on the road 3 to 5 days a week. After a year I was promoted to a Regional VP position and relocated to the west coast. Paul and I settled in quickly and he enrolled in a local college to complete his last year and took care of the home and our dogs. I've never been more happy in my life and the same for Paul. I knew he seldom ever spoke to a siblings, however, Nate, his brother (3 years older) was without a doubt his favorite. Unfortunately, they would talk maybe once ever 12 to 15 months. Nate was a successful corporate executive who traveled the country and had zero associations with his sisters and brothers. Truth is other than Paul and Nate the rest were Jerry springer specials. After 9 years with Paul I met his brother and the first time Paul had seen him since their mother's funeral.
Four years later Nate, his wife and 3 kids moved to a town 2 hours south of us as Nate was now allowed to work remote; 3 days a month at the home office and the rest on the road while working out of a home office. Nate and family came to visit us several times and he and Paul began to talk on a more frequent basis. His wife was not pleased with Paul and I being gay, but she tolerated us for her husband. Their kids loved Paul and I and had us meet them for dinner during school trips to our town. Four years ago Paul and I drove down to their house for a BBQ. We were all but completely ignored by the wife and the youngest son. They spoke only to be polite. We left early and never returned. Nate knew we had been given the cold shoulder and was so apologetic. Nevertheless, Nate's calls to Paul stopped as did emails and we left it alone. We knew once a month Nate drove the interstate, 4 blocks from our house, on his monthly visit to clients just north of where we lived, and one in our town.
Christmas, Paul sent the kids gifts, as well as his brother and sister-in-law. Our Christmas card was in Nate's hand writing - post marked after Christmas. Paul had told me that Nate was the first cock he ever sucked and it went on all through their teens, even with some cousins. December 29 was the day my world collapsed when Paul was killed in an auto accident running errands for the company he worked for. The very core of me being was shaken from his foundation and I will never ever be the same again. I did the right thing calling and leaving a message at Nate's home phone and it was 21 hour later when she called me with her sarcastic tone asking what I wanted. I told her Paul had been killed in an accident I needed them to know so his name could be released to the media and I hung up.
A few minutes later Nate called all broken up to the point neither of us could talk. They arrived the next morning and stayed through the service. Nate is so eaten up with guilt he is calling me every few days and has driven to my house half a dozen times to check on me. A couple of weeks ago I told him he was calling to check on me more since Paul passed than he had to check on Paul in 10 years... and I if I needed him for anything I had his number.
Friday Nate called to tell me he would be waiting for me at my house when I got off work and would take me to dinner. I am a big man and know Nate needs to deal with his quilt so I agreed. At dinner he said he knew Paul had enlightened me about them when the were kids, and to please never let the cat out of the bag. I told him Paul and I had no secrets and I would never betrays Paul's confidence to divulge anything about him or anyone in Paul's life. Then he said, Paul told him I was the best sex he had ever had in his entire life and it was more than our emotional, psychological, connection. I didn't comment motioning for some more wine.
When we got back to the house Nate called his wife to tell her to go to bed he would be late as he and I were talking and he needed to bond with me some more. I was shocked at that comment to the women who doesn't like gay men, even when they do not fit the swishy gay profile. He talked and I listened as his conversation went back to him and Paul having sex as teens and even in their 20's while Paul was living with the other man. Paul had not told me that, so I took it at face value as Nate moved on to ask about my sex life and if there were any men on the horizon. I told him my head knew Paul was gone but not my heart. He said, but have you woke up with a boner yet? When you do that is a sign the trauma of his death is lessening and I your are getting back to normal.
when Nate went to leave around 10 PM we were in the foyer when he reached up grabbed me and hugged me saying, "your my brother-in-law and we both loved Paul." I leaned back as he said "and we both loved sex with him. If you ever feel the need for sex with me, let me know. It would give me great satisfaction to experience the same sex with you as my brother and I did with each other - although it was a long time ago, I still jack off thinking about me and my brother in a 69."
Is my sex driver back? Yes. However, it was mid February before I felt a stirring in loins. It was a week or so later before I jacked off - as my sex drive is back and I have a strong sex drive. Paul and I have had sex 8 times in one day - we were both horny fuckers. Is there anyone I have interest in? No. I do not want a boyfriend, perhaps a friend with benefits but not mine and Paul's friends. I am conflicted with his brothers come on to me - however, he is handsome, just like Paul. Part of me wants to call Nate and invite him to dinner next month, part of me wants to tell him to go to hell. I do know this: I LOVE Paul with every ounce of my being and always will. Paul and I have had a number of 3 ways (not in town), so sex with another man would not be a betrayal to him or our love. The hurt is still real, not as raw and I am jacking off a lot. I am truly conflicted and in more unchartered emotional waters.
