I still cry when I think back to the time I lived with Gil. I was 22, Gil was 36 and I lived with him for almost three years. I'm married but have never told my husband of the abuse I suffered all that time. To Gil I was a sex object and the more drugs he gave me the more humiliation and dagradation I was expose to. Over those years I must have given oral sex to Gil litterely hundreds of times. We not only had straight sex but he insisted on anal sex manytimes and enjoyed satisfying me with sex toys. I would have to say every day or night there was some type of sex with Gil even if he only wanted me to masturbate him. The worst thing started after I was living with him the first year. One night we were sitting in the living room with his friend Steve having a few drinks, smoking weed and crack. Gil unhooked his pants and told me to suck him right in ftront of Steve. I thought he was joking at first but he grabbed my hair pulling me down to his penis forcing me to give him oral sex. After he ejaculated he made me give oral sex to Steve and the next thing I knew I was in our bedroom having sex with both of them. It was like a nightmare and over the couple years I not only had sex with Steve and Gil often but was also sexually abused by two other friends of Gil, Larry and James. I was high most of the time but still in my mind remember the humiliation I endured by them. Larrys girlfriend Lyla would come to the house sometimes and was also abused by the guys but not nearly as often as I was. It generally involved two of them at the same time and at times I wasn't sure who I was having sex with. Even when I had my period they would have me give them oral sex and masturbate them and thats when I was always assaulted with anal sex which I hate. This was all done with the approval of Gil and those three guys always took advantage of it. Larry was a pig, he was fat, ugly, with a small penis and always forced me to give him oral sex and lick his scrotum. I told Gil I hated him but he said Larry was his friend and would smack me every time I complained about anything. It got so bad I was having sex with those three guys as much as I was with Gil. There were nights when Gil would have me snort coke and all four of them would have me spread naked on the dining room table using sex toys and vibrators on me while haveing me take turns giving them oral sex and masturbating them. As embarrassing as it was they were always able to stimulate me and arouse me enough to have many orgasms. They pentrated me anally with a vibrator and at the same time penitrate me vaginally with another. I remember Steve always saying things like there she goes again or shes coming again and even though they were laughing at me I kept climaxing. There were times I passed out from the booze and drugs waking up finding semen on my breasts and face not remembering what went on or with who or how many. There were times when I was not wacked out with drugs and fairly sober . Those where the most humiliating times because I was more aware of what I was being subjected to especially if I were giving Larry oral sex or having him abusing me someway. Steve had an enormous penis and when I was a little sober would scream in pain when he penitrated me anally and Gil and the other guys would just laugh telling me I can't handle it. When I think back of how many times I was displayed naked in front of all 4 at the same time I just cringe. They would watch as I gave one of them oral sex and watch me have intercouse or anal sex with another. Why I stayed there as long as I did is beyond belief but for some reason I just kept taking the drugs and putting up with it. Its even embarrassing to admit how aroused I got while they were doing all this to me. My parents thought I was doing fine even though I seldom called them. One night I was talking to my mother and began crying. She begged me to come back home and thats when I decided to leave Gil. the next morning when he went to work I just packed my bags and left for good. I spent three months in rehab and have been clean ever since. I met my husband 4 years ago and have been married over 2 and expecting my first baby in September. None of my family or friends know what went on with Gil and none of them ever will especially my husband. There is no way I would ever do drugs again and am ashamed of myself for being so dumb when I was younger. I started doing drugs when I was 20 and when I met Gil he became a great provider for weed, crack, coke and even pills. Because of all the drugs I let Gil control me and allowed him to use me like a slave. Its obvious that he didn't love me at all just by the way he let his friends use me anyway they wanted to the extent of sexual abuse which I foolishly let happen. It wasn't just Gil's fault but also my stupidity and addiction to drugs. Its a time in my life I wish I could forget and regret everyday of it now.