I will tell you about my background. I grew up in a middle class, blue collar neighborhood in Iowa. My father owns several long haul trucks and my mother is school teacher. I have been athletic since I was very young, always played soccer and soft ball. I am stocky and athletic. I erupted into puberty between 11 and 12 and by the time I was 13 I had real tits. At 13 I ate out this other girl on my soccer team. She tattled to her mother and her mother came to my house and told my mother and I was severely grounded and sent to a therapist. My therapist asked my why I did it and I told her that I wanted to, that I liked it and would do it again. I did not feel remorse or embarrassment or any of the feelings that I was being told I had to feel.

I got the same girl again and ate her out again. I made her be my girlfriend and made her like it and she learned to eat me and we became best friends and we hung out at each other's houses. Those years were nothing but sex, anything to have sex. I was very jealous of her and kept her on a very tight leash, she had to report where and who she was going with and without permission she didn't go.

In high school we were a known couple and most of the kids accepted that we were who we were. We continued to play sports and we were varsity soccer, soft ball and volley ball.

We drifted in college, I tried different girl friends, but I kept her as my steady. I became involved with an organization of pushy lesbian women demanding all kind of rights, I was there to hang out with this one girl in particular. But I did not feel like they did, and I quit the organization.

After college I moved to Chicago to get some more freedom. In Chicago I tried to find a group. Work was hard, you tell someone that you are a bit gay and they say good for you and all that, but all my friends were gay and I moved from one relationship to the next, I never met anyone I could get serious with.

At a work party I was worked over by this man who told me to get over 'that shit'. He dominated my physically and emotionally, for the first time I started to understand how my junior high girlfriend felt. The box he put me in and kept me in was suffocating, but even the smallest bit of freedom freaked me out and I ran back and got in my box. I went to live with him. I had two kids, we moved to a cheaper place far out of town so that I could stay home and be a full time mother, I went suburban housewife, soccer mom, volunteer, etc.

My kids were with my folks and I was out of the shower reaching for the towel when my husband slapped my behind hard, it sent shivers down my back, and he slapped me again and still wet he took me to the room and he attacked me and I went into uncontrolled orgasm. The only other time I had that happen to me was the first time he got with me and took me over. Out in the open now, I gave up all self control and dove deep into a world of submission and pleasing. Anything to please him and some pain, especially being led around by my nipples or being spanked with his bare hand sends me over the edge.

I ran into my girlfriend from junior high, she is an out lesbian, and we talked about how we hung out together. Maybe because we did so much together I told her about my husband and my lifestyle. She told me I was a repressed bitch, that what I really wanted to was give it hard to another woman and that anytime I wanted to climb all over her I could. She slowly opened her legs all the way and told me she wanted me to eat her right then.

I didn't have any self control.