So, I just had a major realization about why my girlfriend likes me, and why she's asked me to do some of the things she's asked me to do.

My girlfriend is 29, and we started talking when I was 16. Had sex the first time (with her) when I was 17. Now, I'm 19, but people are always surprised to hear this because I'm fairly short (5'1") and apparently I look like I'm 12 or something. It doesn't help that I don't really grow much body hair.

So, yknow I thought it was super awesome (still do, though it's a bit awkward right now) that this older chick was into me. Just thought I was lucky as hell.

So I'm on her computer and I'm on the internet, forget that it's her computer so I go to check my bookmarks. Her bookmarks are absolutely filled with thousands of links to pages and pictures of like, "traps"/crossdressers, and Hentai featuring those kinds of characters but also like cute young boys?

At first I just kind of went okay that's a bit weird, but whatever. But then I thought about it, that's me. That's why she likes me. I'm this cute little boy to her, and it's a perfect situation because I'm over 18 (now, not that I was when we started talking, or when we first had sex) but I still look really young.

And like, I went from, at the start of our relationship i was wearing really baggy clothes to now I wear tighter clothes that show off more skin. A lot of short shorts and tank tops. Because she seemed to be more handsy/want to have sex more often when I wore clothes like that. And she's jokingly suggested I dress up like a girl, but now I'm thinking that was to gauge my response?

I don't know. I'm very confused. She's going to be home in a couple of hours. I don't really feel any differently towards her, I just kind of feel, I don't know, embarrassed? To have this insight into how she sees me?

When she gets home, I'm going to give her a hug. We're going to eat. Then I'm going to ask, as innocently as I can manage, if she wants to dress me up in girls clothes.