In college I met and became involved with a beautiful girl from Brazil. It took a long time for us to lose our inhibitions and become true lovers. I fell in love with her, it was my first true love affair. All through the remainder of college we were full time lovers, as time went on we became more and more interested in experimenting our sexual limits, we expressed ourselves completely, anything that felt good we did again and some things we never did again. We declared our love for each other.

In our last semester of our senior year, one Sunday morning as we lay in bed after a lot of love making, she asked me to listen to her. After college she had to return to Brazil, she was going to get married and have a family. She would always love me, but she needed me to accept that she would be married and have a family and our time together had to remain a secret.

Time does not make things easier. I think of her every day and love her ever so much more. I don't pry into her life, but I know she has three boys, her husband is a lawyer, 15 years older than her.

Lonely is not the word I want to use, I miss her so much. I wish I could move on, but I can't.