I have always been confused about my sexuality. I believe I was meant to marry a woman and have a traditional family. I have had sex with plenty of women mad feel good thinking about fucking them... But I also have thoughts about sex with men. The confusion I have created for myself encouraged me to not have sex with anyone for years and I have also created a masterbation problem for myself. Being tired of magerbatong 2,3,4,5 times a day to keep myself num I decided to take a chance and explore more of my sexuality and lose the fears and taboos of same sex play. Amd possibly stop the addiction to mastebating that's paralizing my sex life.
So I'm on Gay dating site and get a message from a guy, we are chatting away and exchange some pics, next thing I know he is at my house, he is more attractive in real life than in the pictures, he's also older (in his 50s) married and from Europe. We start kissing passionately, we. get each other naked and he has the hardest uncut 7'5" cock, I got on top of him and I take it all, it hurts a bit but I love it. We fucked as I rode him, missionary and then he asked me to get on all 4s, he wanted to see my ass. He fucked me so good I felt his big cock deep in me and felt him get harder as he got closer to coming. He grabbed my waited and pounded into my ass till me came. I was moaning hard from the pain/please it caused me. He laid over me and stayed in me a bit offer he came in me in the condom he was wearing.
I had not been fucked for years nor been with another man.
We laid in the bed talking and he got hard again, I got on top of him again and stated to get fucked, man this guy is impressive he loved fucking my hole, he gets me on the edge of the bed and fucks me from the back I can feel his had cock in me, he laid me down on my stomac his dick inside me the whole time and continues to pund my ass, roll me over on top of him and I'm ridding him again with my back against him and I cum for the second time.
He wants to take a shower so we head to the bathroom and there is where I put my knee on top of the bathroom vanity and expose my ass for him to fuck once more and he does. I see the please on his face as he fucks my whole from his reflection in the mirror... We are out of condoms, he showers and leaves.
I felt so confused after, I felt wrong, I felt like I've disrespected myself by letting another man fuck me. On top of that a married man... I didn't leave my house for two days. I wanted to delete my gay dating account. But I got over it. I am going to explore sexuality.
Yesterday we got in contact again and sex up to meet at 9:00 pm. I made sure I was very clean and ready for him. we had great sex again and I loved every second of him fucking me as I was riding him, doggie, missionary, and how he finished off in me in the bathroom with my knee
on top of the bathroom vanity.
I feel comfortable enough to let him continue fucking me even though before this I did not let men top me. And I now he is only looking for sex now that his wife is out of town for a month, from what we spoke he loves his wife and she knows about him but does not want to talk about it. I was also turned on by how he was so cool and unbothered by the fact of only having sex without getting feelings involved. He knows he loves his wife but also has a strong sex drive, he was completely clear on having safe sex only.
I don't feel like I need a relationship with the guy especially if he is a cheat, can't trust a guy like that... But I like the sex and even I won't be able to see the gay much I might keep available for him to come fuck me because it's so freaking great o get hard thinking about it.
The real issue for me is though, that I liked it to much and might hunt for some more older men that want to have an ongoing sex fling with me. I live alone so it makes it easy. Preferably single me though.
Even though I still want to marry a woman and have a traditional family I might have found myself In the same situation of my married French man. Get the wife but get some on the side when I can from other men.