My parents, bless them, have been saving every spare penny for my university fund. Of course I'm very, very grateful but it's no where near enough money to even get me through the first term. So, being a very practical person, I decided to take a year out and get myself a job to top up the pot. Amazingly, after umpteen attempts, I finally got one and I love it.

I work for a large firm of accountants. Apart from a couple of old, grumpy heads everyone is so nice. I'm the sort of Girl Friday and do everything I'm asked to do. My boss, the Office Manager, is Ailsa, she is, probably, the most attractive lady I have ever seen. Always impeccably dressed with her hair just so. She's been incredibly patient with me even when I've made some really stupid mistakes. I love my job and the money's great. So what's the problem?

One of my jobs is to go around the open-plan office and make sure everyone has enough stationery, you know pens, paper, files, discs etc. I then go down to the stationery 'cupboard', a small room in the basement, and get the stuff. Three weeks ago I was doing just that when I turned around Ailsa was right behind me, she made me jump. I smiled and tried to say something, she was very close, then she did something really weird. She took hold of my head with both hands and kissed me full on the lips. I just stood there, like a dork, with my hands by my sides. She broke off and stared at me full in the face and then, incredibly, she did it again, this time with her tongue halfway down my throat. Then her hand was up my skirt and her finger was inside me. All this happened in less than a minute and suddenly she was gone. I just couldn't stop shaking it took me ages to calm down. What made it worse was that I knew I would have to pass Ailsa's desk, which is in the main office. Finally I built up enough courage. Amazingly, she smiled and waved to me as if nothing had happened.

That afternoon I just couldn't stop thinking about it. What I found really strange was that I knew Ailsa's partner was a really hot Italian called Enrico, a director of the company. So why would she kiss me? And then I thought, oh my god, what do I do if she does it again? I was in a terrible state and just wanted to run away somewhere. Then, a bit later, it got even weirder.

I began, god forgive me, to get turned on by it all, I have no idea why. I'd had two or three boyfriends at school, nothing serious and I'd never let them go too far, but I can honestly say I'd never, ever had any feelings towards another girl. So why the turn on? It got so bad that, in the end, I just had to do something. So, this is terrible, I went to the toilet and I touched myself and I literally exploded, I had to bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself crying out and boy was I wet. I'm not so innocent that I haven't masturbated before but, nothing like this.

So, I've still got the job and, incredibly, I don't know how she does it, Ailsa behaves like nothing has happened. She smiles, asks me if I'm ok and helps if I've got a problem. Yet, when she, inadvertently, I think, touches my arm or my hand it's like a surge of electricity going through me and I'm sure she feels it to?

I'm sure I'm not a lesbian? Am I bisexual? It's all so very, very, confusing and sometimes, alone in my bedroom, I just, cry.