This started 10 years ago, when I had dropped out of college. My dad had just died. I moved back home, to live with my mom. I was depressed. Well, both mom and I were. I got a shit job, and just went to work and then came home and got drunk every night. I was just working to help mom out financially, and use what I had left on booze and cigarettes. I often thought about suicide.

I jerked off a lot. I did miss that about college; that is, the occasional girlfriend or one nighter. I never bothered to try once I dropped out.

Mom would drink with me sometimes. She was never a big drinker before that. We were just 2 depressed people hanging out. Despite our overall shitty situation, I guess that was one positive; we had never been closer. She's never been the same since dad died.

My mom is gorgeous. I had always thought so. I used to sneak a peak on her in the shower as a teenager. She's got huge tits and a beautiful face.

When we'd hang out, mom always dressed slutty-casual? If that's a thing? I never knew what to think of it. Sometimes she'd just wear a nightgown and robe, but the nightgowns were always v-cut. Or she'd have on some shorts or a skirt and a tank top. At the time I never thought anything of it. I figured she was just dressing comfortably.

On one night we were drinking and both got pretty smashed. We had never even mentioned sex before in our conversations, but she blurted out something like "God I miss your father. I'm so horny right now." But before I could even say anything she quickly apologized and changed the subject. But that comment sure did get my mind going.

Maybe another hour or so later, and after a few more drinks, I decided to go back to my room. I was horny and needed to jerk off. I was pulling up some porn online but had to head back out to pee. When I passed by the living room, the lights were still on. On the TV, there was some adult movie playing on Cinemax. I looked in, and there's mom, asleep/passed out on the couch. She had been wearing some shorts, but she had taken them off. She lay there in just her panties and a tank top. No bra. Her tits were just dying to pop out.

I don't know if I can really blame my actions on the alcohol, or my "I don't give a fuck" depressed attitude at that time, or what. I think it was probably a mix of things, including years of built up lust.

I walked over next to the couch, and peered down at my mother. She looked perfect. Even know as I think back and picture how she looked, I'm getting an erection.

I lowered my pajama pants and pulled my cock out through my boxers. I started to jerk it. But that wasn't even. I couldn't resist. I slowly moved my hand down and pulled her shirt down below her tits. I like to think I did it gently, fearing that I'd wake her up. But when I think about it, it's a tall task getting her giant knockers out of a shirt like that.

With her tits exposed, I went back to jerking off. I was going to cum on her tits and them just pray she didn't try to kill me the next day. I closed my eyes and bit my lip and jerked. When I opened my eyes and looked back down at mom, her eyes were open, staring right at me.

I froze. She said nothing. I think that awkward moment lasted for a good 15-20 seconds. Finally, she moved. Her hand slowly slid down, and she started rubbing her pussy through her panties, as she closed her eyes.

I started to jerk myself again. I'm not sure what direction she wanted it to go in. Neither of us said a word. Eventually I sat her up, and she put up her arms as I took her shirt off. She looked just as good now as she did when I used to spy on her. She took off her panties and started fingering herself. I just lost it.

I took off my pants and my boxers. I moved down and pushed her legs open, and got myself in between. About as quickly as I could, I lined my cock up and shoved it inside my mother's pussy. She let out a gasp as her eyes shot open. She stared into my eyes, and to this day I swear it was a mix of pure joy, coupled with disappointment in her son that I'd do that. Or maybe it was guilt? I don't know.

I fucked her. I started slow but hard, and she moaned or gasped with each thrust. I didn't waste much time with that. I began to fuck her hard and fast. She moaned like a whore and wrapped her legs around me. I'm not sure how long it lasted. Eventually, I was shooting my load inside my mother. She pulled me in close with her legs as I slowly thrusted until I had emptied my load. We kissed, briefly. We told each other "I love you." I wanted more. I don't know if she did or not, but I didn't really care.

I grabbed her by the hand and dragged her to her bedroom and threw her onto the bed. I fucked her again. Hard. I came inside her again, and then we fell asleep.

We never talk about it. We've been fucking for 10 years. Frankly, I still don't know how she really feels about it. I initiate it about 90 percent of the time. I pretty much just take her, or have her give me a blowjob. Pretty much everything is quickie style. Like, if I want to just lift up her skirt and fuck her over the kitchen counter, that's exactly what I do. I mean, she seems to enjoy it, but I don't know. While we're not doing it, we act like it doesn't happen. Our conversations haven't changed.

I've been married for 3 years now and have one child. But every once in a while, I always make sure to go and visit mom. My wife tells me I'm a "momma' boy" because of how much we talk on the phone and how much I visit her. If she only knew, lol.