I really don't know what's going on with me right now. I've been married for 12 years now, 3 beautiful children, and an adoring husband that I love and cherish. I'm a good looking woman. I take care of myself and I have worked hard to get rid of the extra weight I gained during each of my pregnancies. I am not a toothpick with boobie bumbs. I'm 5 10 with a 39DD bust and at 147 lb. I know the curves I have are in all the right places. My husband agrees and spares no excuse to get me in the sack, he is really good at sex and definitely not a selfish lover, he makes sure I am screaming into the pillow every time.

So what's my problem? I just feel like I'm going crazy!

I'm not a perfect person, but our whole life seems like it's a model for the "American Dream". 3 beautiful children, adoring husband, 3 cars, 2 homes and tons of friends--more like frienimies than anything else. When we, the wives, are at a gathering we just sit around and gossip and look for any chink in the shiny venire of each other. I cannot stand it! I'm on valium and Prozac to get me through the day.

Recently I think I've just lost myself. I go shopping and buy the most ridiculously slutty things. 5 inch or higher heels, mini's that don't even cover my bottom, blouses that are so sheer that I can read through them, and I rarely every wear a bra or panty with them. I wear them once and throw them all away, except the heels, sometimes I keep a really nice pair of heels until I find another, but I wear the outfit and then toss it.

I don't wear them for my husband to see. Nor even around the house. I keep them in my car, hidden in the trunk until I am ready to go out. I check into a sleazy hotel down on the way and make my transformation--Mary super mom and loving wife to Valerie the slutty lesbian on the prowl. I then continue to a lesbian club in the next town.

When I am at the club, I am carefree, happy, unattached and love every minute of it. I flirt with the other women there and even get touchy feely with them to right out groping on the dance floor. I've had my tongue down more than one strange woman's throat and have had several of them fingering me back at the bar. I am known at the club as the "crazy slut mom", and I am very popular every time I am there. I've climaxed for many of the women at the club, their tongue down my throat and fingers in my panties--don't get me wrong, I love it! When I am there I have no cares, everyone knows what I am there for. I want to be used!

This is my secret, my secret life. It would shatter the perfect world I live in, but I don't care. I need this! The sex is real and makes me free.