At a party a guy I know got hot and heavy with me and I ended up on a bed in the guest room where he had sex with me. I was upset afterwards, really upset and didn't want to see him. But when I did see him again, his hands were all over me and he had sex with me again. I don't avoid him and don't say no. There are times when he puts his arm around me that I start to get wet and other times when he puts his arm around me that I feel smothered. Either way, if he wants to go on and have sex, I give him sex.

It is not just sex anymore. He bought a dog for me it is our dog, we have joint custody. He has a key to my apartment, and usually he calls, but sometimes he walks in. I know better than to date anyone. I go out with him or girlfriends only. There are a lot of other things that have become my responsibility, I share my bank account with him and I pay the bills. To save on expenses we are going to live together. I know where this is going. I know what he wants. I know one day I am going to wake up married. I know all this. I don't remember how it felt when I was single. It feels like it was so far in the past, like when I lived at home with my parents.

I wonder if this is how it is. If this is how it is supposed to be.