When I was little, around two, my mother discovered my father had a child with another woman. Turned out the baby was six months younger than me. My mom ditched my dad and my dad lived with his girlfriend. When I was seven my mom told me that she threw in the towel and we were moving back with dad. My dad still lived with his girlfriend, so I went to the room with my half-sister and mom took the guest room.

I remember, it was a Saturday morning so we didn't have school and my sister and I wanted breakfast before we watched television and we couldn't find mom in her room. We went looking and mom was asleep in bed with dad and his girlfriend. We really didn't say anything, all we wanted was breakfast. Mom came out to the kitchen, followed by my sister's mom and they fixed us breakfast, waffles and bacon, which we never got. While we were eating my mom said that we shouldn't judge her, she had needs, needs that only daddy could satisfy and when she had needs she was going to sleep with daddy.

We were seven, so we really didn't pay much attention to it. Mom slept with daddy a lot, she always had needs. Her bed was never messed up and she and my sister's mom were best friends.

After she started to sleep with my dad babies started to come, first one, then two and three and four babies were born. My dad converted the garage into a den, and the den into a bedroom for our brothers. Our little sisters got my mom's old room. By the time we were thirteen we had a household of six kids.

When my sister and I were in high school we started to notice boys and we were convinced that one boy is all we needed, and we zeroed in on this boy. He was the son of the local doctor and his parents prohibited him to be with us because of our family values. But two sisters was too much for him to pass up and in the eleventh grade after school at a mutual friends house we ceremoniously gave up our virginities to him. Same afternoon, same bed, he either dated both of us or we didn't date. Against his father's will, the three of us went to prom.

In college we moved on and we played around and got into a group sex lifestyle. We grouped, but always and only with the same boy. Not that we only dated one boy, but when it came time to slip out of our clothes, we always did it with one boy. Group sex to us meant the two of us in bed with one boy. What other people did on the other beds or floor or couches didn't matter to us. College was fun, but we did not meet our one guy.

In our mid twenties, we got dated by this one guy in his late thirties. He dated us hard and he was proud to be with us. We lived with him for three years before we broke up, mostly because he wasn't ever going to settle down.

It was then that at my work I met a man who took an interest in my work. He coached me and helped me advance in my job. He helped me go back to school and get advanced course work. One day at lunch, we were talking about the future, I was 30, and he told me that I needed to get serious and finish my masters. He told me that if I finished my masters he would give me a baby. It wasn't the promise of a baby that caused me to get my masters, but he remembered and demanded that I allow him to fulfill his promise.

I spoke with my sister, she told me to go ahead, get a baby and marry him. We were now in our thirties and we needed to settle down. I got married first, and then the baby. But my sister was now on the sidelines and this didn't work for me. We hadn't been together since we broke up with our boyfriend and it was hard talking with her about being married when she wasn't. My husband did not take the hint. He said he didn't want to hear about it.

We thought back to our moms, and wondered why it worked for them and not for us. In the end it really boiled down to my husband. He was never able to come around, and eventually we broke up. We are still the same, we want to be together and live together. We work, so it isn't an economic burden. In many ways we are just alike, and we are even similar in our looks. My dad was special. My mom was lucky. My sister's mom was understanding. But we aren't lucky.