I'm mentally ill. I don't know what the diagnosis is, but I'm definitely mentally ill.

Even as a little girl I had an i****t fetish. As soon as I knew what masturbation and i****t were I was playing with my pussy, imagining mt father doing anything I could imagine to me. He never did, but I would have let him, I even prayed for it.

It got so bad that I lost my virginity at 17 to a man my father's age, who was my lover for a year before we married. I was a good wife to him. Our son Joshua was born when I was 18 and our daughter Liana when I was 21. even as I tried to be a nice normal wife I continued to obsess over i****t, now imagining my children as well.

Perhaps nothing would have happened. Then came the worse three days of my life, when my husband left me after 12 years of marriage and my parents were killed in an accident. This knocked me into a depression which I helped with wine.

Four days later I looked into Joshua's room and caught him in front of his computer masturbating. My mind began to fracture at that point. I walked in and surprised him. And when I got a good look at what he was jerking off to - Japanese comics about little boys fucking their mothers - I simply snapped.

I actually praised him for being so mature as to feel lust at such a young age. I told him I liked his comics and I actually did. I told Joshua that his i****tuous urges were normal.

Then I began lying. I told him that he and his sister weren't fathered by my husband but by my father, that they were actually my siblings as well as my children, and that his late grandparents were half-siblings. I told him that i****t was normal for us because we were all children of i****t. And I told him these lies while fondling his dick.

We discussed his sexy i****t comic and I told him made-up stories about all the i****t I never had until he came on my hand. I ate his sperm with joy and encouraged him to pll off my clothes and take me. We spent the night in his bed and he fucked me eagerly.

In the morning Joshua fucked me some more and Liana caught us. I told her the same lies, that this was natural for our family, even as she watched her brother fuck me. Joshua finished off inside me for the fourth time and talked Liana into straddling my face and I ate my very first pussy. She then ate my pussy including all her brother's sperm, which made me cum hard. By the end of the day Liana and I were full of Joshua's cum and eager to get more.

A year after my husband left I gave birth to my son's child. As I held my child/grandchild, my sanity returned nd I realized what I had done. I was confused for weeks as to what I should do, even as my happy children indulged in the perverse lifestyle I had encouraged. And when I was healed enough, Joshua and Liana pulled my clothes off and ravished me, taking my protests for game-playing. They were experts in forcing climaxes out of my body by this time, and soon I willingly dove back into my madness, becoming a happy pervert once again.

It's been 18 years since I began this insanity. I've drifted in and out of sanity several times, going from believing my own lies to terrified of my own actions. I gave Joshus three children and my oldest grandchild a child as well. Joshua is 31 and Liana is 28 and both are grandparents. Both have married outside the family and their spouses are "fellow travelers", perverted enough to embrace this lifestyle. What had been madness and lies is now reality.

And what really surprises me is that no one seems to suspect anything. No police, no snoopy neighbors, nothing.