Ok, this is crazy. But I cant stop thinking about what happened a week ago at our family
holiday party.
I come from a very big catholic family, 8 kids total. My oldest brother hosted the party
since he has the biggest house. The big "scandal" in his family, or for our entire family
really, is that his 19 year old daughter is dating a black guy, which I know should not be
that big of a deal, but in my family it was kind of s shock.
Anyhow, my niece bought her boyfriend Charles to the party, and he is a very nice, polite
boy.
And then dinner was served, and he was sitting next to me. My husband was on my left, Charles
was on my right, and my niece was sitting next to him.
I felt Charles put his hand on my leg for about a second, and then he moved it away. I assumed
it was an accident, and did not think much about it. Then it happened again, so I knew it was
on purpose. I was shocked, but I did not want to make a big scene, so I discreetly moved his
hand off of my leg.
But - my heart was racing. Was this boy really putting the moves on me? With me sitting next
to my husband, and he was sitting next to his girlfriend, no less!
The 3rd time he just left his hand there for about 10 seconds, and before removing it rubbed
my leg a little. I was so ashamed of myself, but I actually got turned on by that alone.
For the next hour, my mind was racing about what I should do. Should I confront Charles??
Should I tell my niece that her boyfriend was hitting on me, and get into a the whole he said/
she said dilema?
A lot of the family decided to get together to play a board game, so I figured I would play
just to get my mind off the whole Charles situation.
Of course he sat next to me again.
The game we were playing, you write down answers on a piece of paper, and one person judges
everyone's answer.
About 1/2 hour into it, Charles wrote on a piece of paper, then slipped it to me without anyone
seeing. It just said "Call or text if you want sometime" with his number on it.
I should have just thrown it away, but I kept it, and I find myself taking it out and looking
at it several times a day.

I cant help but think.....why me?????

There were other younger girls there, teenagers, and other women there who I think are a lot
prettier than me.
Charles knows I am married - maybe that is the thrill for him?

He is only 19, I am old enough to be his mom! Maybe he has a thing for older women, but
then you would think he would go after his girlfriends mom (my sister in law). Maybe he
already has?

I love my husband very much, but our sex life has dwindled down quite a bit. I cant imagine
having sex with a black teenage boy...omg.
I could not help but notice his hands were huge - and I wonder if the rest of him would match.

Again - Why ME???
Did I give off some sort of frustrated housewife vibe??

I have had chances to cheat with guys my own age and older, and aside from making out once
with my husband's boss (long story), I have been faithful.
And honestly, being in bed with another middle age white man does not really excite me
that much - I sleep next to one every night! lol

I can't stop imaging all the "energy" that a black 19 year old would put into me. How many
rounds could he go??
I used to masturbate once a month, maybe twice. But its been 2 or 3 times a day now
just thinking about Charles. I was driving in my car a couple days ago, and I started
daydreaming about Charles kissing me. I got sopping wet just thinking about that!

I know this will sound bad, but an affair with Charles would be less like real cheating in a way.
There would never be an emotional connection, its not like we would fall in love or anything.
This would just be something selfish I would do for me and myself.
I want this boys black cock.
I tell myself that it could just be one crazy, wild afternoon of sex, but would I keep
wanting it more?

I think about what I would say to Charles if I call or text him. Part of me would just love
to say "I want you" but I probably should not do that.
I wonder if he even knows my name, or I am just his girlfriend's aunt for now.
It's flattering that a teenage boy has interest in me, I just cannot believe that I am
actually considering sleeping with a teenage boy.

This is sad, but I would feel worse for helping my niece's boyfriend cheat on her, as
I would feel about cheating on my own husband.

I confess that I have the paper with his number in my hand again right this second.
Trying to think of something to text him that does not sound too desperate.
Or, should I do the right thing and throw it away.