My father died when I was sixteen. I went to live with my mother's forty year old brother and his girlfriend. She was very touchy feely and shared everything. She never closed the door and would share her sex life with me. When I heard them I would imagine they were doing what she had described. I daydreamed that I was her and masturbated while they were doing it.

I would ask her to tell me, to explain how he was on top of her, she would ask me if I wanted to do those things, if I masturbated. I spent those years of high school masturbating, listening, talking, imagining, practicing. I did have sex in my senior year with an older guy who worked with me at a restaurant. I acted out everything I had imagined, he never knew I was just then having sex, he commented on how experienced I was.