My Cousin Dan.....Is a big fat useless blob, who lives off his mom and blames everything bad in his life on others. He is morbidly obese and no he does not have a slow metabolism or a thyroid problem (he eats too much and he's too lazy to move).
He's 40 years old and stinks (for which he blames a rotting prostrate)....probably too much info!!!
He lives in shit because he bullies his mommy whenever she tries to make her house nice, this is because he's waiting for her to die and he dosen't want any of his inheritance to be spent.
Any suggestions or advice of what Dan the man could do with the rest of his insignificant sad little life???.
The more the creative the response the better