My mother in law has to be the biggest bitch I have ever met! She called my husband this afternoon and asked if we could come up with our 7 month old son to visit. So hubby called me and asked me what did he think and I told him that I didn't think taking our son was a good idea since he's been teething really bad and is cranky almost all the time. Nothing makes him happy no matter what we do, and I didn't want to subject his parents to that when our son doesn't get to see them very often. I said that next month we could probably take him or even later this month once this bad teething stage is done.

So I asked him to call his mom back and ask her if it was okay for us just to come up this weekend and leave the baby with my family since they watch him during the day while we both work and go to college full time. He called his mother back and she said she only wanted him to come up then, and I could stay home. I'm so pissed at her! Just because she isn't getting what she wants, she's going to be a bitch to me over it. I won't let my husband take the baby up there alone because I know what my husband's childhood was like and how his mother's parenting skills are. When my husband was a child and she didn't want to deal with him, she'd dope him up on Benadryl and make him sleep. I am not having that with my child.

I should have known where I stood when on Mother's Day I didn't get so much as a card or a call from her and we bought her a really nice gift and spent the money for it even when we didn't have the money at the time and she didn't get me anything, yet on father's day, she went all our for my husband and bought him a whole bunch of tools, a toolbox, and some clothes. I hate my mother in law so much I wish she would just roll over and die!! I hate her as much, if not more, than she seems to hate me.

Comments

Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 4, 2005 at 8:50 PM

aw man that sux im only 13 but ur mother in law sounds like a bitch. tell ur husband to have a talk with her, it sounds like that is very much needed. and needless to say dont leave ur kid with her.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 5, 2005 at 9:26 AM

Well see that's just the issue, he won't talk with her. If she says jump, he'll ask how high and do whatever she wants. And as for my child being around her, I try to avoid that as much as possible and the policy on visits is that if I'm not going or I'm not there, then my son isn't either. My husband takes good care of my son, and I trust him to take care of our son, but I have visions her taking over when he's up there, telling him to go ahead and take a break or do whatever, and my son getting hurt or drugged up unnecessarily.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 21, 2005 at 3:18 AM

dear, i may not be the best advice giver but let me try my best.

a man (or woman) may have more than one spouse over the course of their life but there will only be one mother.
dont ever make ur husband have to choose between u and his mother...u may not like the result.
as for your husband idolising his mother, think about ur own mother. think about how u absolutely love her (no matter her shortcomings) and think about how u would feel if someone close to you, ur own spuse none the less, hated her. now u probably know how ur husband feels like.
talk to your husband about why you are uncomfortable about his mother and get him to talk to his mother. . you can even suggest a 'counselling session' with ur mother in law where u can iron out ur issues. be honest AND as tactful as possible. your husband can be the mediator. if this fails, pro family counselling can also be of help here...relax, counselling doesnt suggest that ur crazy, its normal atimes.
it may not be easy at first and u may both have to compromise a litle to accomodate each other. many new couples at first are uneasy with each other's in-laws but in the end form a loving bond with each other.
u could also talk about why u r uncomfortable about having ur child around her and also try to straighten that out. think about how u loved and adored (and probably still do) ur gentle grandmother as a child. do not deny ur child that.
once again it may not be easy at first but i expect a beautiful friendship and a healthy respect for each other may eventually form.
best of luck and if it all works out, u may be pleasantly surprised next mother's day.

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Anonymous

by Anonymous on Mar 21, 2005 at 9:13 AM

I think that's the best advice I've gotten from anyone. Thanks so much for your valuable feedback, I think I'm going to go after some of those ideas and make it work.

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