Straight Male / 27
through my teens and early 20's with all the porn I was watching due to a nonexistant sex life untill I met my gf at 24 I watched so much that vanilla porn got borning and I got bored of of jerking off so I watched more and more hardcore porn and it all got boring as well then one day I stumbled upon hypnosis and brainwashing and I read warngings that said to becareful and to be sure you want the effects of a hypno file before listening or watching. I didn't entirely believe that hypnosis would work but on the off chance that it did work the idea of ignoring the warings and listening with out reading more than the title and sometimes picking titles that I specifecally did not want because I wanted to be made to want it was the biggest turnon. I still don't know if any of it worked or if I simply developed my fetishes through repeated exposure e.g. find a file to induce and obession with small penis humiliation I googled it and was sure I was not interested, it was weird and unplesant and so I got off to the idea that I would listen to this file and wake up with a deepseated obssession for it. to try and help the programing I would watch sph videos and jerk off hoping to condition myself further. I would back slide tell myself this hypnosis thing it was weird, unusual or wrong but I always got bored and always came back to it. Now here I am years later obsessed being a mistress' panty wearing bitch fuck toy to be pegged and used in anyway and she sees fit. I almost exclusivley watch femdom humiliation porn and listen to hypnosis and brainwashing videos to drive my fetishes deeper and expand on them. as I type this it occurs to me that recently I was lisening to a hypno file on youtube that told me to confess my fetishes to the mistress. I didn't but since then I've found myself going around the internet getting off on posting my story and further she told me to wear panties for her. I don't own panties and never had the balls to buy them but I went and ordered some online and can't stop thinking about them arriving.
It is great that things are turing out this way before hypnosis I never wanted and even a little disgusted at the idea of bending over and getting spanked and fucked in the ass, wearing panties, taking golden showers, I never wanted to be humiliated and degraded, and now I want nothing more than to do these things and more everyday. but it also sucks for the most giant of reasons. My girlfriend. She is as vanilla as you can get. I tricked her in to making me wear panties by suggesting a bet where the loser had to wear underwear of the opposite sex choosen by the winner, and surprise I lost and got to wear panties for a week. the only time i ever had. but then not thinking about my own point of view before I began all this, I pushed too hard on the subject telling how i've never been so horny wrongly thinking the idea of having me so turned on all the time would turn her on and during this week I also talked about the subject of pegging and what she thinks of people who do it without letting on that I wanted it. She shutdown to the idea of me ever wearing panties again and said she was worried men who wear panties and like pegging must be gay and are hiding it, she said she doesn't believe there could be any other possible explination other denial or sacred to come out as gay, and anyone who says otherwise is just lying to themselves. If there's one thing I'm not or ever will be it's gay it's one of a recently expanding list of things i've descovered that go against the core of who I am and don't want to use hypnosis, conditioning ,and brainwashing to make me want it.
So, hear I am with the love of my life and the only person i've ever been with sexually, my love with who the vanilla sex is amazing and still gets me going, but unable to ever share this part of me with her, and so desprate to explore it I almost cheated on her while she was away so that just once I could both finally fully explore my submissive panty boy side. However, the idea of doing that to her just left a pit in my stomache,because it would mean what we have is nothing to me, but it is everything and I would never beable look her in the eye again, and because I know that if I didn't it once it wouldn't be just once. so while she is away I'm going to try and satisify myself by just reliving that week in panties and throw them away before she gets back.
And, just incase all that isn't I'm scared I'm starting to resent her for shutting down any possibility of experimenting as strongley as she did last time, and I'm scared she will leave if I bring it up again. I should clarify I never mentioned my more extreem interests only the panties and pegging.
It is great that things are turing out this way before hypnosis I never wanted and even a little disgusted at the idea of bending over and getting spanked and fucked in the ass, wearing panties, taking golden showers, I never wanted to be humiliated and degraded, and now I want nothing more than to do these things and more everyday. but it also sucks for the most giant of reasons. My girlfriend. She is as vanilla as you can get. I tricked her in to making me wear panties by suggesting a bet where the loser had to wear underwear of the opposite sex choosen by the winner, and surprise I lost and got to wear panties for a week. the only time i ever had. but then not thinking about my own point of view before I began all this, I pushed too hard on the subject telling how i've never been so horny wrongly thinking the idea of having me so turned on all the time would turn her on and during this week I also talked about the subject of pegging and what she thinks of people who do it without letting on that I wanted it. She shutdown to the idea of me ever wearing panties again and said she was worried men who wear panties and like pegging must be gay and are hiding it, she said she doesn't believe there could be any other possible explination other denial or sacred to come out as gay, and anyone who says otherwise is just lying to themselves. If there's one thing I'm not or ever will be it's gay it's one of a recently expanding list of things i've descovered that go against the core of who I am and don't want to use hypnosis, conditioning ,and brainwashing to make me want it.
So, hear I am with the love of my life and the only person i've ever been with sexually, my love with who the vanilla sex is amazing and still gets me going, but unable to ever share this part of me with her, and so desprate to explore it I almost cheated on her while she was away so that just once I could both finally fully explore my submissive panty boy side. However, the idea of doing that to her just left a pit in my stomache,because it would mean what we have is nothing to me, but it is everything and I would never beable look her in the eye again, and because I know that if I didn't it once it wouldn't be just once. so while she is away I'm going to try and satisify myself by just reliving that week in panties and throw them away before she gets back.
And, just incase all that isn't I'm scared I'm starting to resent her for shutting down any possibility of experimenting as strongley as she did last time, and I'm scared she will leave if I bring it up again. I should clarify I never mentioned my more extreem interests only the panties and pegging.
