I'm getting tired of my sexless marriage.

When we were first maried the sex was fantastic. Things stayed great until we started having kids. By our third and final child things hit a proverbial wall.

Things got to the point where she would never ever initiate sex, and when I would try to initiate sex I would get shot down 90% of the time. When she did allow us to be intament she would approach it with less enthusiasm than doing a load of laundry.

I tried everything I could think of to rekindle some romance in our marriage, but nothing seemed to help. I won't bother with the full list of things I had tried, but my last real effort happened one Valentines Day. I got my parents to watch our kids overnight and purchased a spa day for my wife and two of her friend to get her out of the house. While she was gone I set the house up for a nice romantic evening and prepared a fairly elaborate meal for us. When her friends dropped her off I had the lights down low and candles burning waiting for her. She seamed genuinely surprised and happy. We had a great meal together and after dessert I gave her her Valentine's day present, which she also seemed to love. She poceeded to tell me this was the best Valentine's day she could remember. Right after that she copletely murdered the mode.

My loving wife of 10 years said the following... "after all this I suppose you want to have sex now. Well come on, let's go in the bedroom and get it over with." I just stood up at that point and walked to the nearest bar.

I pretty much gave up on sex in my marriage after that night. Please don't get me wrong, all other aspects of my marriage are great. Other wise I would have been gone a long long time ago. I just decided after that Valentine's Day I was done with sex with my wife. I just take care of things myself and on two ocasions I hired an escort.

It's been just shy of twenty years since that Valentine's day and we've had sex maybe fifteen times or so during that time. Up until a couple of years ago I would still put in a token effort for sex every couple of months but it more out of habit than anything else.

Ok so now that the back story is out of the way...

Last week my wife comes to me one evening and actually asked me why I didn't try to have sex with her any more!?!? I was pretty much speachless. The first words out my mouth were "why do you want me to try to have sex with you when you never ever want to have sex?" She actually told me it made her feel loved and wanted even if she didn't have any desire for sex. WTF??? I told her to put herself on the other side of that particular fence and she has her answer. The conversation went on for a little while after that but she never really got it until I explained that years and years of rejection kinda makes a person want to stop trying... Yes I know it shouldn't take years but I'm really stubborn and a creature of habit. All I got in response is "Oh, I guess I never thought about it like I was rejecting you".

Less than five minutes after that conversation ended it hit me. WTF am still doing in this marriage. All my kids are grown and out of the house. I'm sure I'll lose at least half my stuff (probably a lot more than half), over time I can rebuild or replace all my crap. The only thing that really stings is half of my 401k would be gone, but oh well.
I think I'll be looking for a good divorce lawyer...