I'm the degenerate, perverted mom in Oregon that has written before. I decided you all were right: I was just indulging my vanity, teasing the boys. I think I really knew they would be coming over and somewhere inside me wanted to be seen in a sexual way again. Once I realized what I was doing I stopped. I quit swimming after school and on weekends when the boys could be around, but that has apparently not stopped my problems.

As I said: I don't swim any more when the boys could be around. I don't even go out to the pool area when they are here any more. Friday they were over, my son and many of his fiends from the swim team, were having an after school pool party. I stayed in the house and made cookies. I set them on the table along with a couple gallons of milk and glasses so they could have a snack when they were done.

I heard then down in the kitchen finishing them off. My son found me in my sewing room and told me he and few of his friends were going camping and he'd be back Sunday. Things quieted down and I went down to put away the leftovers. Well, I thought I would, but the cookies were gone, and both gallons of milk were empty. I decided I just needed to relax a bit in the hot tub. I checked the house, and everyone was gone. My son was out with his friends camping--so I decided to take advantage of the time to myself. I collected my thinks and went to the hot tub. Our spa is in a "hidden" location, because of the house and the position of the garage nobody else can see. There is even a privacy fence just to make sure, so I didn't bother with a swim suit. I dropped my robe and climbed in.

A couple glasses of wine and the hot water swirling around me and it didn't take long to relax. My thoughts became nostalgic thinking of wonderful times my husband and I had in these swirling waters. I closed my eyes and was very much enjoying our memories. I felt his hands caressing my breasts, his manhood slowly easing into me. It was so real it surprised me. My eyes popped open as I was about to climax. It was real!

The hands caressing me and the manhood inside of me, was not my husband, but the boy that had "saved me in the pool" when I had bumped my head. He put his hands on my hips and held me. I squirmed, but I was impaled on his hardness like I had been so many times before with my husband. At that moment I wanted to be sexual more than anything I've wanted since my husband's passing.

I looked up at him wanting him to stay with me and complete his desire in me; my look must have said it all. He told me, "I want this too."

Just a few thrusts and I could feel him complete his desire within me. I held him there with my legs wrapped around him; not ever wanting my depths to be empty again. He started to kiss me. I couldn't stop. My body gave in and my passion for this young man took me away. I squealed, I moaned, a thrashed about; my legs tightened around his chiseled form. I couldn't, I didn't want to stop--it ripped through my soul!

I wish I could say that was my moment of weakness, but it was not. He took me to my marital bed and did things to me that only my husband had ever done. My body quaked, I cried, I knew what it was to be a sexual, desirable woman again!

He spent the night. What time or day he left? I could not tell. I lay in my bed, exhausted and aglow with the warmth of knowing I was still a desirable woman.

I asked him that we should never repeat this, but I know if he wants, my bed will be open to his desires.

still a degenerate, perverted mom in Oregon.