I was married at 18, and divorced before I was 20. We found out that I cannot have children, at that point my "husband" lost interest in me and left. Rather than move back in with my parents, I started hooking. I never got into drugs, but sex for money was my all consuming passion. If you had the time and money, then I wanted to make you happy. It thrilled me that I was getting money for sex, that people actually wanted me enough to pay for it with me.

I did that for a decade. Ya, I got beat on some, but I stayed away from the pimps and drugs and made a fairly good living on my back and on my knees. After a year of doing it, I started to put some of the money away so I could "get out of the business" some time if I ever wanted to do so. Well, almost 5 years ago now, I decided I wanted out.

I decided to go to school and become a computer programmer. I always like using the computer and was good at math, so I thought why not make some money at doing something normal for a while. I was not top of my class, but finished respectable, and I didn't sleep with any prof's for grades, and I'm in a good job now with a major company.

My problem now is that when I get really stressed out working on a project, I start wanting to hook again. I found myself buying cloths for it. I've even dressed and went cruising the bigger city a few miles away, but so far I have been able to talk myself out of it before seriously looking for a john, but if this keeps up, I know it's only a matter of time before I start "pay to play" again.

Since I was dumped by my ex, I've never wanted to be with one guy for very long, and I still don't. I know there is no house in the country, two cars, and a loving husband for me, but I really don't want to hook again.