This has been on my mind for about 10 years now, and its driving me crazy.

When I was a senior in college, I had a very serious boyfriend back at home. John
and I had been dating for about 2 years, and I was faithful to him except for one time.
He and I had a huge argument on the phone, and he ended it with basically saying it was
over. I was so sad. For the next two hours I cried like a baby in my apartment room
my roommate was gone for the weekend)
There was a guy, Paul, who lived in the same building as we did, and he was always making
sexual comments to me in fun if we ever passed in the hall. He was a pig, he was not
my type, but I needed a man right then. I looked like a mess, but I went to his door and
knocked and luckily Paul answered the door. He could tell I was crying, but he was with
a bunch of guys in his apartment watching sports, so he suggested we go to my place to "talk".
And of course, 5 minutes after he was in my place, we were going at it.
For the first time in over 2 years, I was getting fucked. And I was loving it. We did not
kiss much - it was just him penetrating me and cumming inside me two times. It was
just what I needed.
After Paul was done with the 2nd round, he was just kind of laying on my chest and sucking
on my nipples. My cell phone rang -- it was John. He felt so bad about our argument, he
drove the 3 hours to my college just to see me. He was outside wanting to get "buzzed" in.
Omg - I just about died. I literally threw Paul out of my apartment and put some clothes on.
I put a heavy comforter on top of my bed so John would not see the two major wet spots that
were just made.

John was remorseful - he felt so bad about what was said on the phone. He even brought
me flowers! We made up, and then he started kissing me. And I knew I could not say "no"
to sex after just telling him how much I missed him.

When I realized John was about to literally get "sloppy seconds", I excused myself, went to
the bathroom, and wiped up my pussy a little. But there was still a lot of Paul inside me
and in my pubes. Then I went back to my boyfriend and we made love. I felt so guilty for
cheating on him, but when he went down on me to give me oral sex, it was SO exciting. My
boyfriend was eating another guys cum! I had mentioned to John that I was very horny and
excited to be with him, so I know he just thought I was wet for him. Not from another guy
just a short while ago.
As crazy as it sounds, it was kind of neat to share with John something so personal and
private that my body helped create.

John spend the night with me, and I just loved the idea of knowing I had the sperm of two
different men inside me as I fell asleep.

Fast forward to now - I have been married to John for 7 years. EVERY time he gives me
oral sex, I think about Paul and that wild evening in college. I mentally pretend he is
sill eating some of Paul's cum out of me, and its such a turn on.
I am not sure if its a 7 year itch or what, but I would love to do that again.
And its not the sex I am looking for, but just to have that "secret". Have my husband
go down on me and taste another man. Go to bed with that "mixture" of two guys inside me
again. Share something SO wrong yet so erotic with my spose this time.
I would feel so guilty for cheating, but there is really no other way that it could
ever happen unless I do.