When I was a young kid, I was mute. It was because of child abuse from a mentally unstable mother, but I'm not going to go into detail about that. I don't like to think about it at all. I speak now after therapy when I was 9 and living with my dad. When I was 6 or 7, a horny teenage girl took advantage of the fact I was mute and couldn't tell on her. I don't feel traumatized or anything, nor am I angry. The memory isn't painful. It's just strange.

She followed me into the bathroom one day when no one else was home and when I looked at her confused, she just said she "wanted to see it." I got self conscious and turned my body away so I covered my dick as much as I could while I peed standing up, also covering as much of it as I could with my hands. When I finished, she walked up behind me and reached around me to grab it. I froze, not because I liked it, but more so because I was thinking "what is she doing?."

She managed to get it stiff after fumbling with it a little while and tried to put my hand on her vagina, but I yanked my hand away as soon as I felt it. The erection was a physical response only and I wasn't sexually turned on. It started to feel nice, but then I looked down and saw my dick stiff in her hand, and freaked out before she could finish, managed to get out of her grip, and ran off. I was completely innocent and clueless about sex at that age, so it was all confusing. Later after she saw me act scared around her, she never tried anything again.

I was 6 or 7, so my memory of what she looked like is super vague. All I remember is she was white trash, had dirty blond hair, a southern accent, and she had a SEGA. (It's funny that my young brain picked THAT detail to remember).

The incident showed me how to get it hard and I would often play with it in the bathtub, sometimes to dry orgasm. I was doing it wrong though and was basically rhythmically squeezing instead of stroking. I'm kinda embarrassed about that because my grandmother saw me doing it a couple times and I made no attempt to hide it because I didn't know any better. She was responsible about it and didn't ever comment on it, since doing so would probably make me ask questions.

Today, I'm gay and have a healthy sex life. I'm only attracted to men my age and much older, even playing with a man the same age as my dad once. I have a bit of an i****t fetish, but I've never do it in real life. I'm not attracted to my dad and honestly he intimidates me; he's the authoritarian military guy type. I'm very certain that the incident as a kid had nothing to do with me being gay, but I suppose it's remotely possible. I never told anyone about it because I don't consider it that big of a deal, and I don't want people who care about me to worry about me.