I really want to do naughty things with my pee.

The things I'd like to do are:

1. Pee in a rolled up towel while sitting on something I shouldn't be, like a chair or a table.

2. Pee in the floor and let my dog lick it up.

3. Pee into the mattress in the guest room and leave it.

4. Have a chair I can just urinate in. I don't want to wet, but I want to sit down and let it soak into the cushions. Something about the idea of using something absorbent as my toilet just gets me going.

5. Pee in a dressing room.

6. Take a piss into a bunch of tissues like I used to when I was little and then hump them until I get off.

7. Hump and urinate into my bed until I finish. I remember taking tiny pees in my bed as a teen because I thought that pushing was how you got to orgasm. (It works but it's not needed, ha!)

8. Pee in a hotel room on the carpet, the chair, the mattress, on the towels, in the closet: everywhere that will absorb my piss. I want to just leave little dribbles of piss behind like I used to do in my bedroom when I was a kid. I'd urinate everywhere, just little squirts on the doorknob, on the bed, on the floor in front of the door, under the desk, on the curtain covering my closet, next to my bed.

9. Urinate in a pillow until it's soaking.

Now... my biggest problem is that the idea of it gets me super wet and slippery and then nothing absorbs my pee. I have to clean my wetness before I can take a piss. Such a hassle!

But seriously, I have this huge desire to urinate everywhere I shouldn't and pissing in the tub and in the backyard isn't cutting it anymore. I need to take a damn piss somewhere exciting and soon!