I suppose this could fall into the "my cheating heart" category as well, but for me
its all about the sex that is going on in my life right now.

First of all - I will start off by saying I hate my ex husband. I honestly used to joke
to my girlfriends that I was marrying him for his cock (he is VERY well hung)
This will sound so bad, but I think I knew at the altar our marriage would not last. I was
in la la land thinking everything would work out and improve and our marriage would be
wonderful.
Then when I got pregnant, I thought that would somehow help our marriage, but it did not.
My ex husband, Paul, was a good provider, and a good father. But he gambled a lot, and
spent hours upon hours playing every new video game that came out. He never wanted to go
out - like, ever!
He was not surprised when I first talked about a divorce. It was finalized about 1 year
ago. As it got closer and closer to the day, I grew to hate him more and more.

We have a daughter, and about a month ago Paul had to come over to pick up a sleeping
bag she needed. I always try to be gone when he comes over for something, but on that
particular day I completely forgot about Paul coming over. I was working out, and came to
the door all sweaty and wearing tight shorts and a halter top.
He works a late 2nd shift, so he came over around 2pm. I was working out in the basement,
and I answered the door all sweaty and wearing tight shorts and a halter top. Our daughter
was still in school, and we started bickering at each other right away.

Paul was being such a jerk, and at one point he came over to me and squeezed my breasts
and told me that they were always my best feature. I said "fuck you" to him, and
he said maybe he should fuck ME.
And then he started to get aggressive and tried to pull my shorts off. I fought with
him and kept telling him to stop, but he is so much stronger than me. I was naked in front
of him in no time.
I told him to just leave, but he kind of pushed me on the couch and I heard him unzip
his pants.
I decided to just let it happen, but Paul was more into the "forced sex" idea and actually
put his hand over my mouth as he entered me.
I am ashamed to admit this, but his size did feel wonderful when he penetrated me.
It was not romantic - there was no kissing. Paul just humped away until he came.
After he was done, he made a crude comment about how that was the only thing I was good
for. He stood up and told me (ordered me?) to clean his cock off with my mouth, and
I obeyed. Before he left he said he would stop by again tomorrow - and I told him
not to bother.
But the next day, I found myself kind of looking out the window and hoping. And Paul
showed up!
Again, no foreplay or kissing. he told me to go to the kitchen, pretty much had me
bend over the table, he fucked me hard for 10-15 minutes until he was done, and then
he left.

This has gone on for over a month now. Every week day my daughter is in school,
my ex husband comes over to fuck me. I have literally told him "I hate you" as he is
busy with me, but that just seems to turn us both on even more.

He will come in, tell me where he wants me, and I do what I am told.
I have never had a relationship like this, and its very exciting.
I would never tell Paul this, but I have had more orgasms this past month with
him just using me, than I did the entire time we were together.

2 weeks ago when he knew it was my boyfriends birthday, Paul made sure he had sex
with me later that day than usual. He made me promise I would give the boyfriend his
"sloppy seconds", and again I obeyed. My boyfriend has no idea my ex has been coming
over almost daily to screw me. I should feel more guilty for that, but I am too wrapped
up in how wrong it is to be enjoying sex so much with someone I cant stand.

I don't know why I feel so alive now with my ex husband just using me 4-5 times
a week. I would never get back with him in a million years, but obviously my
body missed his cock.
Or maybe I have had desires just to be used and never knew it.
When Paul had his hand over my mouth that first time, I was so mad at myself for being
turned on.
He had the nerve to make me say "thank you" to him when he was finished with me the
other day.
My confession is that I love being dominated by my ex

How did I get this way??

Paul will have to stop his visits when our daughter is out of school - and my
boyfriend is not an aggressive guy at all. I don't want Paul to stop using me!!!
Not sure how I will get my ex-husband fix when school is out. I am already dreading
it NOT being a part of my life.