Sex Confession #35040 | Adult Confessions

- My Family -

Straight Male / 32

My wife and I have been maried for ten years. Two months ago one of my wife's so called friends convinced her that I was having an affair. For the entirety of our relationship, from our first date until now, I have never been with anyone else but her. I couldn't convince her of that, so she left.

For the first month I tried to convince her of my inoscence, but she wouldn't take my calls or messages. I wasn't giving up entirely, but I thought I'd give her some space.

Some friends convinced me I needed a night out. We head to a popular bar in our area and long story short I see my wife leaving with some guy. She sees me and actually had the nerve to smile at me. An older guy sitting at the table next to us saw the look we exchanged and told me it looks like I missed the boat tonight, but he was sure she'd be back tomorrow if I still wanted to hit that. I questioned him a little and found out for the last month she's been in every Friday and Saturday and usually leaves with someone different every time. I told my friends I was leaving. They understood. I took a cab home after a brief stop at a liquor store.

Yesterday morning I get a call from her saying we really need to talk. I told her fine and agreed to meet her over lunch. I picked a fast food joint mostly because I'm trying to save every cent I can for a good divorce attorney.

We meet and she tells me she is so sorry, but she just found out her friend was wrong and I had in fact not cheated on her. She wanted to come home. I told her technically it's her house too. I didn't think I could do anything legally to stop her at this point. As far as living there as husband and wife ever again probably not going to happen. She told me she would do anything to make it up to me. I told her I didn't think that was possible at this point. Trust is one of the most important things in a marriage and apparently she didn't trust me, since she took the word of one friend over her husbsnd's. I told her I couldn't trust her anymore either since I saw her leave with that guy at the bar and if only half of what they were saying in there about you is true I would never consider touching you again until some std testing was done. I just got up and walked out.

She's sent me a few messages and called me a couple times since yesterday. I haven't replied or answered yet. I will eventually, I just need a little processing time. I did talk with one of her friends when she called me. She told me she didn't know what was said to me at the bar, but the night I saw her leave with someone was the only time she did that and she only did it then because she saw me and wanted me to know what it felt like to be cheated on. To be honest I'm inclined to believe her friend over some random dude in the bar. My biggest problem is how easily she was convinced I was cheating on her. That just doesn't sit well with me at all.

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# 35040 - by Anonymous / April 26, 2017

Comments

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 2:13 PM

Leave her and dont look back.

(0) (0)

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 4:37 PM

I think her friend is lying for her. The guy volunteered information about her that he had no reason to lie about. Sounds like he's been watching the show for a while. Do you have any idea of her whereabouts on Friday and Saturday night for the past month? Don't jump too soon on two rumors. Do some checking around before you make a decision one way or another. Ask around.

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 5:29 PM

I agree with #2(lol), the dude at the bar had no reason to lie to you. Your whore(no offense) of a wife is as full of shit as she is cock. I say you leave her. I actually wouldn't be surprised if this entire thing is a setup created by your wife and her friends to give her a quick excuse to fuck some other dudes for a while. I beg you not to take her back cause she sound like a manipulative bitch. Don't listen to any of her friends unless you really trust them 100%. It was one of them that told you wife you were "cheating". Find someone else to be with. I have no idea who you are, but I know you deserve better.

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 5:30 PM

Her friend is trying to help her save her marriage. Her leaving because she was told you cheated, without giving you the benefit of the doubt is crazy and doesn't show that she values your marriage much. Chances are she's having 2nd thoughts and asked her friend to help her save the marriage that she now wants to stay in.

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 6:17 PM

The last thing for you to do is to listen to anybody's opinion. Take your time and think over the facts. Go with your gut.

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 6:58 PM

First point: Why did her 'friend' say you were cheating, in the first place ???
Second point: Why does 'everyone elses' stories/tales more true than yours ???
Third point: Why does she 'want to believe' her friends and not you ???
Fourth point: Aren't YOU supposed to be her best friend ????
Fifth point: Why, at first sign of something wrong, didn't she sit down and want to discuss it ???
On a personal level ... I'm a voyer/wife watcher, BUT, With agreement and understanding on both sides ..... this sounds like an 'excuse' to have a fling ...

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 9:29 PM

I could be wrong but I think the whole part of her friend telling her that you were cheating on her WAS the real plot.That way she wanted to prepare for an affair , for variety/adding spice in her life,and she is the one who cheated on you.Let's face it.It IS reported that she does leave with a new guy every weekend.Don't think the house is technically hets.It is not legally so if there is no contribution to the purchase/ rental transaction in terms of documentary evidence.Don't fall for her tears,requests and don't take her in.She may do something worse once she is in.She might ask for total possession of the premises.I doubt she was with any office colleagues only to exchange notes on office matters or to make you feel jealous.She never gave you space and time to consider your relationship with her so don't be so charitable.3rd Law of motion by Newton is the best solution.Don't threaten her with divorce but prepare and be ready with one.If I was in the position of the man or men who she went out with,a woman separated or separating from her husband is the most desirable woman in the world to sleep with.So don't trust that man/those men she brings over.She would separate from you sooner or later.Your alleged/perceived disloyalty could have been discussed by her with you.

Leave her for good and be safe and happy.Leave her friends alone too.They all appear either easily biased,frivolous or intentionally malicious.

After the split, choose your second wife carefully.Best luck.

by Anonymous on Apr 26, 2017 at 9:39 PM

7# again.Just forgot to add that she might have been disappointed with those new men or was treated to wham bam thank you maam treatment so now wishes to get back to a loyal husband- for her sake and not for your nobility.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 12:25 AM

You are a wise man and seeing the best D attorney you can afford is the best thing you can do. Find someone that specializes in taking on husbands/wronged spouses cases and don't waste time doing it. I agree with all the above comments and your logic in this and don't think you should take her back under any circumstances whatsoever. If it happened once it will happen again. She surely was in cahoots with her friend to begin with and is still trying to have her friends do her bidding here. Don't be a sap and show some balls and have the attorney push forward on this full steam ahead. When he has things all worked out lower the boom on her. You say she left you at the outset? Many times that is enough of a sign legally to support your contention that she was the one cheating and openly expressed her desire to leave the marriage, vacating any/all your joint or married property to you. Show her no mercy in a divorce, that chance for any kindness or niceties went out the window from the git go. Hang tough man and good luck. You deserve so much more and surely will find the right woman that will give you the trust, respect, love, affection and friendship that you never had or could have had in this marriage. Sorry you got stuck with a real loser here but time to move on and move upward.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 3:56 AM

Agree totally with #9.

Keep us posted if you need further help.I wish #9 had given you his email for advice.His is the most direct-no bullshit-advice.Appears experienced.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 5:18 AM

Leave that bitch. If she really was into the marriage she would of tried harder and not gone right out and cheated.

The guy at the bar had no reason to lie, but her friend does. He also said the last month not months so it's been since you split. And she found out you weren't lying what, after she went home with that guy? That's bullshit.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 6:16 AM

Thanks for all the advice. While writing this I did come to the conclusion there was no way I was taking her back. It seems putting my thoughts in writing helped me clarify a few of my thoughts. I have(had) a project car that I just sold to a good friend of mine for what should be enough to cover my attorney fees. I have my initial visit with my attorney tomorrow. She's famous in our area for championing men in divorces and is known for being absolutely ruthless. So hopefully I can come out of this with some dignity in tact and my finances not in total ruins. Thanks again for all the advice.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 8:27 AM

#12.Be careful and best luck.

I hope your wife hasn't already consulted her before starting her escapades.This attorney,in that case,can dissuade you to divorce your wife and once you are confused create mayhem.Not because she is bad but you did mention she is ruthless.I feel your wife has been plotting this well.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 9:15 AM

#13. I nearly 100% sure my soon to be ex wife has not consulted with this attorney. From my understanding she never takes on woman as clients it's always men. I have two friends that used her in their divorces and they both came out of it smelling like roses, but nothing in life is sure. So I will definately keep you advice in mind and keep a close I on things. Thanks.

by Anonymous on Apr 27, 2017 at 9:41 PM

This is #13.Good luck and you are most welcome.I am not an expert on these matters but betrayal always hurts.

One can't be too careful and that's the problem.Just imagine in your case it was 10 years.People are separating after 20-25 years.What a tragedy.Many women then turn to men of some other religion.That's another issue anyway.

by Anonymous on Apr 28, 2017 at 2:54 AM

I would say that ,if one is dissatisfied with one's spouse or wish to have a fling(many of us have fantasies but acting them out is risky from many petspectives and morality or the ideas of sin actually were derived from the possibility of risks though shrouded under religious ideas),then the best way for her could have been a clean,dignified divorce and then she was at liberty to behave any which way she wanted.Here it appears that she wanted to try both-a stable husband and a wild f***.She couldn't get the stable relationship she desired from the latter so came back.Very selfish of her.She may offer you one or both of her friends by way of compensation.Don't be tempted since that way she will be emboldened to do worse with you.Many times,some men get possessive and tell the woman to get rid of the husband.Don't threaten her with divorce,just file for the same and inform your friends about the possibilities about her response(physical violence to get rid of you as revenge or even attempt at suicide to get you into trouble and humiliation.Be very careful.She seems to have loyal friends.You should have your own support system where those very people should not get into any relationship with her and betray you.There is always that temptation on their part to have somebody else's wife.

by Anonymous on Aug 31, 2017 at 7:30 PM

First point: Why did her 'friend' say you were cheating, in the first place ???
Her friend is the massive nearby planet that will always throw your relationship out of stable mutual orbit.

I agree, if she believed this 'friend', she had more trust in the friend than in you. Either the trust in your marriage was weak (it IS a mutual thing), or the friend is giving her something you weren't. If this isn't solved, or solvable, forget about a return to normalcy.

If you are into Dominance, well, you have her over a barrel, if she still wants to stay - and you want to toy with her with some degree of sincere love.

M opinion. This marriage is trashed, and the sooner you both split holdings and move on, the sooner you get a fresh clean slate and a chance at a real trusting loving relationship.

You can love her AND let her go, without malice.

FYI: this is how a person can open the door to earning trust:

1. This is what I did
Direct and accurate and complete and unflinching description of all that she did.

2. This is how it hurt you, our marriage, and me
Direct, and accurate, as objective as possible, and unflinching descripton of all the harms (emotional, social, etc) to you, your marriage, and herself. Sober description, this is not a pity party.

3. This is NOT how I want to be. The kind of person I want ot be is:
Convincingly assert the kind of person she wants to present to the world, and to herself. Convincing. Your Gut will decide.

4. This is what I will do to prevent doing the harm I have done, and to confront my failure to trust you.

Convincing of pragmatic and plausible measures to build strenghts in place of the weaknesses that caused harm.
Convincing. Pragmatic. Measurable Results.

good Luck

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