Four years after we were married my wife was r**ed. She was a waitress at a local bar. After work one night two guys grabbed her, tossed her into their truck and took her out to the country, r**ed her, beat her half to death and left her for dead. The only reason she survived is her manager saw the abduction. He was to late to help her, but he got a good description of the pickup and the license plate. He called the cops and they got them as they came back into town. They were able to find her and get her to the hospital in time.

That was nine years ago. It took a long time for her to recover physically, it was almost a year before she could walk again. It still sends me into a rage when I think about what they did to her.

Mentally, she had a lot of problems and she's worked through most all of the with the help of therapists and doctors and I did my best to be there for her and do what ever I could to support and encourage her. While nothing is one hundred percent she can at least go out in public alone and can manage to sleep through most nights without waking up screaming. Unfortunately for me sex is still an issue for her.

I couldn't even hold her hand without her having to suppress her shuddering for the first couple of years. The first time we tried to have sex was nearly three years after the attack. It didn't go well. She had a full on panic attack. I ended up just holding her for the rest of the night.

Eventually things got a little better, but the best she could do was make it through sex most of the time. Other times she'd have to stop me mid coitus. Either way afterwards we would both feel like shit. She wanted desperately to please me and herself and to just be able to enjoy being intimate with me. So she would feel horribly guilty for not being able to do so. I'd feel guilty for making her feel that way.

Six years after the attack I had more or less given up on sex with her. I never told her that though I just stopped trying. I couldn't stand how it made us feel afterwards and the sex wasn't particularly satisfying, so it just wasn't worth it to me. I was feeling a little trapped. I love her more than I could ever express. Everything we've been through has brought us closer than I could ever imagine. Leaving her was unimaginable.

Time went on while the lack of sex was frustrating for me, but we were generally happy otherwise.

Six months ago we went out for supper at one of the nicer restaurants in our town. She wore a dress that looked fantastic on her. She looked just plain hot. She hadn't dressed like that in ages, since before the attack. Apparently she'd gone shopping recently. All could think was she was trying to tell me something. I was estatic. We had a wonderful meal together.

When we get home I take her into my arms and I try to kiss her and she flinches. So I stop. She tells me no keep going. As I'm kissing her I move one hand down to her ass and she starts shuddering. This time I do stop, even though she tells me to keep going. Her reactions just killed my mood. I tell her sorry, but I can't do this. For the first time in years she got mad at me.

What followed was an epic fight. We both had years of pent up frustration that all came out at once. The fight ended with her running to the bedroom crying and me heading to liquor store and coming home with a bottle of cheap vodka.

I'm not sure how much time went by but I was pretty drunk when she came out of the bedroom. She saw me drinking and it set her off again. Basically she told me so that's how you're going start dealing with things. Go ahead and drink yourself into oblivion. That started another round of fighting. God I was so angry. A lot of things were said that we both regretted. She finally uttered the phrase "why don't you just fucking man up and r**e me. Just get it over with you fucking pussy. That sent me into a rage. I grabbed her and tossed her over the back of the coach. Lifted up her dress and yanked her panties down. I got my pants down and once I got into position I just slammed into her. She was crying and moaning at the same time. The harder I slammed into her the crying lessoned and moaning increased. She let out a scream and completely soaked me. That sent me over the edge and I came hard.

Afterwards she started sobbing uncontrollably. She couldn't even catch her breath. All I could think was oh god what have I done over and over. I wanted to kill myself, really and truly kill myself. I just kind of backed myself in a corner slid down into a sitting position. I zoned out and finally fell asleep siting there.

She woke me up in the morning. I was instantly confused. She was beaming at me. She saw my confusion and pointed to rather large stain on the floor behind the couch and told me you made me cum and cum alot last night. We had a very very long talk after that.

We tried just regular sex a couple of times after that. While she didn't have problems with it like she used to, it did absolutely nothing for her. Me eating her got her wet enough for sex so we didn't have to use lube like we used to, but that was it.

She told me she wanted me to r**e her again. I was really really uncomfortable with the idea, but it was what she wanted. We talked about it and she didn't really know exactly what she wanted. She just knew she wanted to be forced and she didn't want to know it was coming. The only thing she knew she didn't want was she knew she didn't want to be punched. She wasn't sure about being slapped, but definately no punching. I didn't think I bring myself to punch her anyway. I told her I wanted to start slow the first time, maybe something similar to what happened the other night. She told me no, she wanted more. She wanted me to use her in anyway I can think of and be rough about it. If something was to much, that's what the safe word is for.

On a side note here. A couple of days after our fight she talked to her psychiatrist about what happened, how it made her feel and what she wanted me to do. I won't discuss details but there was no way I was going to do this without consulting him first. She agreed.

I gave it a few days and waited for what felt like the right time. I wasn't sure if I could actually do this like she wanted. Last time she told me the fight didn't start out that way, but she admitted to intentionaly goading me into it at the end.

I was heading for the bathroom when she stepped out just wearing a towel. I pushed her against the wall and ripped the towel off of her and forced her to the ground. I held her down with one arm while I got my pants unzipped. Once I had my dick free, I grabbed her hair and got her to a kneeling position. She was crying no the whole time. I just about stopped, seeing her like this was killing me, but this was what she wanted. I told her to open her fucking mouth. She did and I shoved my now harding dick in her mouth and commanded her to suck. Once I was fully hard I started fucking her mouth. She was sobbing harder now. I was getting close to cumming so I stopped. I yanked on her hair and forced her forward and face down on the floor. She was screaming no over and over at this point. I look back and see a puddle where she was kneeling. I was shocked she already had an orgasm. It gave me more confidence I was doing the right thing. I got between her legs and found her opening. She was sopping wet. As soon as she felt my fingers she started crying no again. I slid the head of my dick in her and then rammed it in my full length. She screamed. I slammed into her as hard as I could. She had two massive orgasms within a couple of minutes of each other. Once I got close I pulled out and turn her over. I stuck my dick in her mouth and told her to suck. In next to no time I exploded in her mouth. She held my cum in her mouth and let some dribble out. I commanded her to swallow. I grabbed her hair and slapped her across the face and repeat swallow. After three times of that she finally did. She gagged quite a bit but she manged to get my cum down.

She was still crying so I sat on the floor and gently took her in my arms. She stopped crying shortly thereafter. She grinned up at me and told me that was awesome. She then gave me suggestions for next time.

Over the next six months we did that four more times, each time got better and better. Even our normal sex is vastly improved. I think I finally have my wife back. This isn't the way I pictured my married life, but I'll take it as long as it's with her.