As the second wife my stepkids were ugly and hurtful. then I got my own kids, twin boys. My stepdaughter wanted to babysit, my husbands ex offered to take care of them so I could go back to work. with my second pregnancy I was surrounded by caring women, none of the ugliness. I am totally accepted now, part of my husband's extended family, including his ex, his other kids, with a full women's network.