I grew up with four brothers, I was the only girl. When I bathed I pretended to have a penis. When my breast developed I either taped them or wore lose fitting tops. I pushed a roll of handkerchiefs in my pants. I humped the dog, she was a female lab. My period was my reminder of my mistake.

I got fucked by one of my older brother's friends. My brother almost killed him.

At my job I met a man, I decided to suck his cock. I pretended I was gay and I was sucking a gay guy. I let him fuck my ass but not my pussy. That's when I became a queer. I sucked cock. Most men didn't know I had a pussy until they were fucking me. Some men threw me away, I was a fucking girl.

I met a nurse, she was forty and had three kids. Why she told me her father fucked her I don't know. Why I told her I hated having a pussy I don't know. I told her that I had gotten fucked at fourteen.

She told me she left her father's fucking behind when she had her kid. She told me to fuck properly and stop letting strange men fuck my ass, to stop sucking cock. To fuck with my pussy. Get pregnant. Have kids. I didn't have a cock, I had a pussy made for fucking and having kids.

Letting him fuck me regular was the hardest thing I did. Getting pregnant was harder. Being a 'girlfriend', harder still. My friend the nurse kept me going, be a girl, be a woman, get him to make you his wife. Keep getting pregnant.

I am married, I have three kids, I am thirty-three and I hate having a pussy. I should have been born with a penis, a cock, and I should be fucking girls, not the other way around.

My friend the nurse keeps me going, stay fucked, be a wife to him, be a mother, and forget about your mistake. I can't, I think about not having a penis every time I shower or fuck.