Some asshole keeps stalking me everywhere I go disguising himself as somebody and is always going barefoot with his multiple diguises. First it all started one time when I was having dinner at a Mexican Restraunt and while I was enjoying a round of Nachos and Margaritas and in comes a man in a Mariachi Suit holding a Guitar, however the man was barefoot and he appeared drunk and he began to sing very loudly getting on the nerves of other customers. Then he took out a bottle of Tequilla and began to make his way towards the restroom and let's not forget, the man was barefoot and here I was eating just to see a grown man walking barefoot into a public restroom. I nearly threw up in my mouth a little while trying to eat some nachos and if that wasn't bad enough, the man was actually singing in the restroom. After about a half an hour of listening to this man and his antics in the restroom he returned from the restroom barefoot and he was in his underwear. I was just about to throw up what kind of nasty asshole goes into a restroom barefoot and walks out in their fucking underwear and yet he's still singing, then he sits down at an empty table next to where I was sitting, he picks up his foot and starts to fucking smell his feet. Restaurant Employees were yelling at this whackjob that he needs to leave the building then he goes over to our table, and grabs a taco, puts his foot in his taco, and SUCKS HIS TOES on a fucking taco, at that point I grabbed his guitar and smashed him over the head with it as he feel to the floor as employees dragged his drunk, half naked ass out of the restaurant. It's a shame that my night was ruined because of the antics of a drunk barefoot buffoon, seriously I hope this idiot gets some serious help and you also owe me a taco for sticking your dirty ass feet in it, people please drink responsibly or otherwise you may end up getting a guitar playing a tune on your skull next time you decide to suck your toes on one's taco.


Then it happened again this time Me and my family was trying to have lunch at McDonald's until a man wearing a straw hat, overalls, and bare feet went inside McDonald's and he was holding a Banjo too and as McDonald's Employees tried to let the man know about the Dress Code Policy, he stands on top of an empty table, and played his banjo singing Old MacDonald to the annoyance of everybody inside the restaurant. Then after that the Employees began yelling at him to stop and to leave the restaurant but then he makes a dash towards the restroom and the man was barefoot and yes he went inside the restroom barefoot, now that is just nasty walking barefoot inside of a public restroom in a place where people eat, that just nearly made me lose my lunch. Then about 20 minutes later the Hillbilly leaves the restroom wearing only a pair of underwear and he actually started to smell his goddamn feet in the restaurant while other patrons were trying to eat as I could hear everybody groaning in disgust, but then the man grabbed a sandwich of someone's table and placed his foot inside their sandwich and sucked his nasty toes on it. I took the idiot's banjo and whacked him upside the head with it, while McDonald's Workers began to drag this half naked buffoon out of McDonald's as everybody applauded me for taking care of this whackjob while everybody outside pointed and laughed at this inbred hick for his rude and disruptive antics.



Last Christmas Me and my Family were at a Christmas Party until Santa Claus showed up completely drunk and he was barefoot and he had fucking toenail fungus on his left foot and here he comes in yelling Ho Ho Ho and then starts singing Christmas Carols very loudly to the annoyance of all of the other guests at the party. Then he goes over to a table where guests were eating their dinner and he climbs on top of the table with his nasty bare feet getting right in their food. The Eaters were telling Santa to get off the table but then Santa started singing Santa Claus is coming to town however Santa came down ass he went right through the table as he was covered in wine and people's food. Then Santa went into the restroom and yes he went inside barefoot and returned 20 minutes later this time wearing only a thong with bells at the croch and worst of all his asscheeks had turd stains smeared on them. Geezz Santa did anybody teach you how to wipe your own ass or to dress and act properly at an event. Then Santa goes over to some Women and asks them to sit on his lap and he can be their Christmas Gift only for a woman to kick him in his jingle balls. Then Santa went over to the Punch table and actually stuck his dirty foot in it and sucked his toes while everyone all groaned in disgust but before someone took Santa's Bag which was full of Coal and beat Santa upside the head as the Elves all dragged Santa's drunk half naked ass back to the North Pole, Christmas has been ruined for me.

Then one time I went to Memphis I was having dinner at a Memphis Barbecue Restaurant until in comes a man dressed as Elvis as the crowd applauded as the man as Elvis came in holding a guitar, a bottle of miller lite, and he was barefoot as he climbed on top of an empty table, played his guitar and started singing All Shook Up very loudly until Elvis fell off the table and landed on his ass as everyone began to laugh at him. Then a employee noticed Elvis's bare feet and told him he can't be here without a pair of Blue Suede Shoes but Elvis makes his way to the restroom and I was so grossed out that Elvis would go take a shit in a public restroom with bare feet.Than about 20 minutes later Elvis comes out of the bathroom this time in a Speedo and his feet was covered in brown suede turds as he begins smelling his nasty feet in front of everybody while we were trying to eat, I almost felt like projectile vomiting at Elvis, then he goes and grabs a Pulled Pork Sandwich off my table and placed his turd covered foot in it and started to suck his toes on my sandwich, as I grabbed Elvis's Guitar and smashed him over the head with it as Elvis Shook, Rattled, and Rolled on to the floor as the staff dragged Elvis's Half Naked Ass out of the Building, thank you Elvis for Ruining my Diner, Thank you very much.

Then I went to KFC and then all of a sudden a grown man wearing a Chicken Suit walked across the road and came in KFC to be a real pain in the ass. He had a Trumpet and began to play it very loudly getting on the nerves of other eaters, then he went to a nearby Booth and stood on top of it to entertain everybody by doing the chicken dance. Then when employees began yelling at the Chicken to leave the Chicken dashes to the restroom, with his trumpet and began playing in the restroom. Than 20 minutes later the Chicken walks out with only his mask and a thong with feathers around it and was BAREFOOT as the Chicken went inside the Kitchen with bare feet and began smelling his feet while the cooks were trying to get this retard out of the kitchen. Then the Chicken goes over to my table and grabs my fried chicken box and starts sucking his toes as I took the Chicken's trumpet and started attacking him with it, as the Cops came to haul away this annoying ass. Now you know what happened when the Chicken Crossed the Road

Then one day the same creep was at Subway where I worked at ordering a $5 Tuna Melt Footlong; the man got his sandwich and took off his shoes and socks and went inside the restroom. I immediately spit out my Pepsi as I was so grossed out by this idiot's behavior. He then left the Restroom wearing a speedo and his feet was covered in toilet water and I was about to get sick, how can you be so unsanitary. than went inside the Kitchen stood on top of the counter to sing Barefoot Nellie until the staff dragged him off his counter and take his sandwich and go home. Mr Webmaster then went to his table and began cutting his toenails in the restaurant as everyone inside was all showing disgust as he then placed his fingers between his toes. Then Mr Webmaster began to smell his goddamn feet in the middle of Subway while we were trying to eat, and let's not forget he just walked out of a public restroom and he was smelling his feet as Subway staff told the barefoot buffoon that he needs to leave the building. Then Mr. Barefoot took a handful of Pickles, the Mayonnaise and Mustard dispensers on his sandwich and actually took his foot inside his sandwich and began to suck his fucking toes on his Subway Sandwich, as everybody inside Subway all groaned as Subway staffed grabbed Mr. Webmaster by his arms and dragged his half naked and barefoot ass out of Subway.

I swear this idiot will not leave me alone, the fact that he always shows up where i'm going and walking around barefoot in restaurant restrooms and smelling his fucking feet and sucking his fungus filled toes, he just won't go away, if only I could just put a restraining order on this creepy bastard.