My husband is a long haul trucker, so me bed is a lonely place quite often. I have a few sex toys I make due with and he is fine with that, he does the same.

I don't want to break our wedding vows, so when using the toys, browsing web sites, or fantasizing I have forced myself to limit to lesbian material. (No guys to lust after)

Problem is I have started to really like it. I used to just think of having a toy used on me or fingers rubbing me, but now it has become full on lesbian fantasies and erotica.

That didn't bother me at first, it has really improved my play time, but now I have caught myself checking out women I see in public or at the gym. It's not innocent thoughts of, "Oh, that's a nice blouse." It's become, she has a very nice shape to her breasts, or oh my she has a very well sculpted buttocks. I wonder what it would be like to kiss a woman and know we were going to have sex, and how it would really feel to go through with it.

Today while applying my lipstick, I started to wonder what it would feel like to kiss lipstick to lipstick. I was brought out of my fantasy by my daughter asking me a question, I blushed a little that she was there and interrupted such a kinky fantasy.

I don't want to act on these thoughts, but I am sure it is only a matter of time before I am caught looking and fantasizing, and then I'll be in a predicament of my own making.

Sexually frustrated and getting curious