Classifying stuff is hard. I don't believe I am either bi or lesbian, but I live with, sleep with and have sex with a girl. I don't believe our problem is a family problem, but we live together in our own little family. I don't believe I am particularly submissive, but I do submit to the man of the house's decision. The girl I sleep with every night and I both have children from the same father. We got together because we were both pregnant, and we live together because we both have our children with him. He has his own place, but he is the man of our house and obviously gets to spend his time with us whenever he wants.

Our children are growing up in a female only house. That bothers me, us, because we only have daughters. Now that they are getting to the age of going to school they are challenging their father. If he lived here, I am sure he would maintain order and they would behave differently. As it is, they behave with him much as I behaved with my Uncles, respect them when they are around, but you don't have to do what he says.

No amount of talking has helped, their father visits and when he is here he spoils them to no end. But then he goes home and leaves it up to us to set down the rules and enforce them. His contribution is to tell them to do what their mother's tell them to do. Which they ignore.

Our oldest is six. Her teacher celebrates that she had two mommies, that she lives in an alternative household, her teacher has told her that we are called lesbians. We never use that term. We are not lesbians. We talked to the teacher and the counselor and told her not to put those ideas in our daughter's head. She does have two mothers, but that is because her father chooses for us to live this way. Too many women under his roof makes him uncomfortable, and there are six of us now, mothers and daughters.

We were accused of being in a polygamous household. You can't win. We are not formally married, on purpose, because there is no way for the three of us to be formally married. If we could we would. There is no question that we are one unit, one family, one man with two women. That is true. Do I think of myself as this wife? Yes. Does she think of herself as his wife? Yes. Do we consider him our husband? Yes. But we are not formally married and therefore we are not polygamous.

So we get back to the problem of labels. What do we call ourselves? Wives? Partners? Girlfriends? What do we call him? Husband? Partner? Man? We do not like 'man', we prefer husband or when we are referring to him to his children, we just call him daddy, like in daddy said we would do this, or daddy wants us to be ready. We don't like 'man' and we don't like being referred to as 'woman'. We are not in the stone age.

As to our daughters, we are mommy to them. We know who they are calling by their tone of voice. We like mommy.