OUR FATHERS ONE
Our fathers, may God rest their souls, were two of seven brothers and sisters from a close knit southern country family. In the little town that bares the family's last name there wasn't much work for black folk other than farming, so they as well as the majority of their siblings moved to the city where my generation grew up. Myself, and most of my first cousins were raised within a close circle, with our parents never moving more than a couple blocks or streets away from each other. However, my uncle Bobby died when I was extremely young. I only faintly remember him; nonetheless, he had one son.
Though my uncle never married, and though the son wasn't raised per-say in our circle, he remained in contact the rest of us. Secretly, for as far back as I can remember I've always had a crush on him. As little kids we weren't around each other enough for me to feed on my then unexplainable feelings towards him. He was always playing with the other boys including my brother. The two of them sort of created a bond and hung out from time to time, though they ran with different sets of friends. Yet inwardly my emotional urgings towards him as more than a cousin never stopped burning.
Ironically, around the age of fourteen for me and sixteen for him, him and a friend stopped by. No one was home at the time but one of my sisters and me, my brother is the oldest then me and I have three sisters behind me. The one I speak of now is the one directly behind me, in any case. She thought his friend was fine and apparently he took notice of her as well. I think the plan was just to speak then leave since they were on that side of town, but the friend wasn't in any hurry, nor was my little sister for that to happen. They wanted an opportunity to talk more so we innocently gave it to them.
They went into the den which was towards the back end of the house. This left my cousin and me alone in the front room watching television. Truthfully, I cannot for the life of me remember the details of how we got there but at some point. I remember his hand feeling my boobs over my bra but under my shirt and me not saying a word. I simply leaned back and let him do it. I'm a big girl and have always been such, so I've always had big titties, big everything for that matter; but what makes this situation truly ironic is that was the very first time. I'd ever let anyone play with them, period.
Coincidentally, as he continued to grope me first with one hand and then both, and as I started to get hotter and hotter, being sexually stimulated or aroused for the first time. I also experienced my first feel of a hard dick, which flipped a switch inside me. I only got a chance to rub up and down on it thru his pants, it felt huge! True, having never been there before I had nothing to compare it or that feeling to, but damn, big is big isn't it?
Before things could go any further we heard the other two headed back our way. Thinking back I wonder just how far we would have gone under the circumstances. Even if my sister and his friend had gone all the way, they weren't first cousins. Realistically we were both old enough to know that society doesn't look well on blood having sex with blood. Not to mention what the rest of our family might have said or done had we gotten caught in any kind of compromising position. That being said, I think if his friend had ended up fucking my sister, my cousin would have ended up dicking me too!
As the two guys left my house my cousin and I just sort of slyly looked at each other and that was that. Years that went by we never mentioned what happened between us that day. I went on to get more than one set of initials behind my name, got married, divorced and had one child, a daughter who at the time of this writing is a sophomore at the local university, having graduated early from high school. My cousin never officially married but ended up in a long term relationship with a very sweet girl. Between the two of them they have three children and several grandchildren. All in all things returned to normal, he and I would run into each other from time to time. Either just in passing or on rare family occasions when he would show up.
Still we never mentioned that day; it was as if it never happened. On the surface it was not out of the question to believe the attraction we felt for each other had vanished with reason and age. The realities and responsibilities of life had pushed such childish thoughts and emotions so far on the back burners they appeared long since dead and buried. I was living an enjoyable life with a great job, friends, along with loving relationships with my siblings and other family members. For the most part my plate was full; the only thing missing from it was a man.
There is nothing special about me, like all humans and animals; I too have natural sexual urges and desires. I guess if there is a difference between myself and most of the women who share their stories. It might be that I'm a strong believer in mind over matter. Or as some might say or think, I'm great at suppressing those desires; or overriding them anyway. In many ways I had no choice. Even as a young girl I was academically or business minded. The greater part of my thinking and time was spent in becoming somebody, or making something of myself.
Though I said earlier that I am and have always been a big girl, I've never had any trouble attracting boys and or men. Not to sound conceited but I've always been what most people consider as pretty, and though big and perhaps by modern standards over-weight, I've never been what again most would consider as fat. At least not in the sense of sloppy or unappealing; but yes, I've always had meat on my bones. That said, I've had and continue to get more than my share of opportunities where men are concerned. So that was not my problem ever!
By the time of my marriage after getting my doctorate, I was not a virgin but you could literally count on one hand the number of men I'd had sex with before my wedding day. During my marriage of course sex came more often; but my husband turned out to be an asshole so that didn't last. After my marriage I spent the majority of my time building my credibility within my profession and trying to raise and mold my daughter into a productive individual as well as a proper young lady. That didn't leave much time for men or relationships, though I did do some dating from time to time.
Then came the computer and all the opportunities/possibilities that came with it. Eighty percent of my time at work is spent on the PC, so I spent very little time on it once at home. But I did find it useful and safe for innocent chats with mature persons from time to time. For the most part I hung out in professional chat areas but every now and then I ventured off into more adult oriented sites and rooms, once I was certain my daughter was soundly asleep. Most of the men I talked with were jerks looking for a quick fuck, or married looking for a side piece of ass.
Subconsciously, I guess I was pretty much searching for the same thing but the way the majority who approach the subject were rude and completely tasteless. They'd turn me off before I had a chance to get remotely turned on! I'm not a prude and though all women have a slutty side, we aren't all sluts. At least not from a cold start, heat up my mind before you try to pump dick up in me! Anyway the night came when I went back to one of those adult chat sites. I was feeling a bit adventurous and open to most any possibilities. After sitting on the sidelines following the room conversation, and paying close attention to the responses of the men I noticed.
The conversation was pretty hot and one guy seemed to have intelligent as well as curiously interesting responses and statements. For some reason I click on him to view his profile and notice he was from my area, something I found to be rare. I don't know why but I typed his id into the chat area and asked if he wanted to have a private chat with a lady from his neck of the woods. (If by some chance you haven't already guessed, yes it was my cousin, that cousin. But we didn't know that then.) We talked for hours that night and really clicked.
For the next year or so whenever we saw each other online we'd talk. We'd talk about everything from how our day went to the extreme sexually explicated. We talked about our current relational statuses, all of which I told you earlier; but we didn't connect it to each other. So I knew he was in a relationship but I enjoyed every bit of our conversations. We'd become comfortable talking with each other and asking whatever questions that entered our minds. But when he asked me if I had a webcam and if I'd consider showing him my tits, I was caught off guard completely.
We'd had several deeply personal and pin pointed sexual conversations. During the course of them I learned that he was a tit man; and loves it when a women gets off on sucking a dick and will swallow all the nutt for her pleasure not just for his. I learned that he had been lead to believe he had a big dick though no one had ever just measured him, which intrigued me because I hadn't ever had anything over the average 7 possibly 8 incher, so I wondered what he meant by "big." That said I wasn't ready to take that step just then so I told him I'd think about it.
It was a couple weeks later before we talked again and though I knew the question was coming, it never did. Instead, he asked me if I was interested in seeing his dick on his webcam. Stunned and a little shocked but curious, before I knew it I'd said "sure". DAMN! It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen! Soft it was about as big as any dick that I'd ever had in me, it hung so low, looked thick and heavy with strong veins. During our conversations I'd told him that of course at my age, in my fifties now, I'll suck dick but it wasn't my thing, and I'd never ever even considered letting a man nutt in my mouth, less lone swallowing. That I'd always done it to shut up the men I'd been with, but the sight of that dick made my mouth water.
He stroked it as if he was taunting me with it until it became semi-hard and I swear to you I'd never seen anything like it. In the multitude of my years but limited experience with men it was magnificent. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, nor could I stop drooling at the thought of having that piece of meat in my mouth…damn right I WANTED TO SUCK THAT DICK! After watching him I was more than ready to show him my boobs. But I had to take care of a couple of things first.



I told him to give me time to make sure my daughter was good and sleep, which I knew she was but I wanted to change into something a bit more exciting. I had on my favorite throw over night shirt, nothing sexy about it at all; but it's damn comfortable. Having already had my shower I quickly changed into a special teddy and returned the pc keyboard. Before letting him know I was back I adjusted the cam so that he could see me from the neck down then turned it on. Then I gave him a sexy show, honestly something I'd never done before on a computer. Even as I stood there teasing him I couldn't believe it was really me doing it. Before I sat back down he'd seen everything but my face.
Over the next few months when possible we'd continued to chat and flash body parts, but never showed our faces. And then it happened! He asked to see that part of me as he was willing to show me the same. Because of my profession and respectability within the community, oh by the way, by now we'd learned we actually live in the exact same city, showing my face wasn't something I had ever planned to do. But we'd become so comfortable with each other that I trusted him with that crucial vision. Like kids we decided to count to three then move the cams to our faces.
"HOLY SHIT!" actually says it all! And if you could have seen the expression on his face when he saw it was me. Only he and God know what I must have looked like upon finding out it was him! We must have just sat there staring at the images on screens for an eternity before resuming any attempt at further conversation. He eventually broke the frozen ice of shocked revelations by typing, "so what in the hell do we do now!" I was in no mental condition to respond other than telling him, right then, I couldn't think and for him to give me a call in a couple of days. We both needed time to process all we'd said and done over that last pasted year... Damn!
I can't say what went through his mind but I'm sure it was some heavy stuff! This entire situation was heavy, hell it was madness! Days passed, then after about three weeks' time and I'd not heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I felt we needed to clear the air or something, what, I didn't know but we had to do something. Something other than pretending this never happened, we weren't kids this time and sooner or later we would bump into each other somewhere. Once I had him on the phone I told him pretty much that. We had to talk, or at least I did.
He agreed that we needed to sit down and talk about it. Saying he'd realized that, thought about calling but wasn't sure what he'd say once he did. But yes, we had to deal with the situation like adults, and do it quickly. My occupation is one where I set my own schedule though I have an assistant that handles all my appointments. At that particular time he was unemployed but had gone back to school to retrain with the displaced over fifty crowd. We decided that he'd meet me at my house the next morning after my daughter had left for school.
The plan was to sit down face to face accepting the fact that yes; we had unintentionally crossed moral and societal boundaries. But it was truly unintentional and completely accidental, and it didn't make either of us less of a person. Also that we had to be able to look each other in the eyes as well as, be around one another at family functions without letting on that something wasn't right between us etc.… From there I'd head to work and he to class…

. I was already dressed for work but was sitting at my kitchen table having a bagel and some coffee and sure enough. As scheduled my doorbell rang and I let him in. Naturally I offered him a cup and asked if he'd had breakfast yet. He had but accepted the coffee anyway. Talk about tension and avoidance. We both did all we could to escape the real purpose for our being there; but we couldn't dodge the truth but for so long. Nervously, me anyway, we finally had that basic planned conversation, and agreed. Though there was no way we could pretend it didn't happen, we didn't have to beat ourselves up over it.
Nor did we have to act any different around the rest of the family, if anything. It would just remain a private; take it to our graves type of joke between the two of us. The conversation ended and. I collected the dishes from the table. My thought was to wash those couple of things before walking him to the door. And then, may God help us all! With my back turned to him and leaning over the sink with my hands buried in the warm soapy water, unexpectedly.
I felt his hands palming my breast as he softly kissed my neck, while grind his groin definitively into my ass. I gasp and tried to speak out in protest but I had no voice. Yes, the moral question became a factor of my mental processes, and yes. The war being fought within my head of what we've all been taught. When it comes to right, wrong and what is and isn't supposed to happen. Between unmarried males & females, and especially if they are as closely related by blood as we are made me wish I had the strength to stop him, but I couldn't.
I was frozen by his touch and trapped by my own internal desires. At the same time I struggled to find the voice of reason within me; or the strength to get him off of me. I found neither. He spent me around so that we were face to face and instantly his tongue was down my throat. I wish I could honestly tell you my every thought and or emotion, but I can't remember such details. What I can remember is submitting to him and allowing him to have his way with me.
As our tongues twisted and turned as in a sudden death match; his hand found its way under my dress and inside my panties. As he began to massage hairless my mound any thoughts of resistance vanished. His fingers toyed between the wetness of my slit and soon found my neglected clit. (I 'm not a masturbation freak so I hadn't touched myself in about eight months; and no man had touched me in over two years.) Involuntarily, as if they had a mind if their own; my legs opened as wide as they could allowing him full access.
Soon I found myself humping wildly against his inserted fingers. By now my panties were on the floor, though I can't remember when they left my body. Suddenly he dropped to his knees with his head under my dress; and started eating me out. Now I know what you're going to say, but it's completely true. In fifty plus years I'd only had my pussy eaten a couple times, again it just wasn't my thing; but he had me screaming in seconds! He is, not was, a clit master.
The strokes and brushes of his tongue can only be compared to a world class artist painting a multimillion dollar masterpiece. Before I knew it or could think one way or the other about it, I was squirting my juices in his mouth and he was sucking them up like a turbo powered vacuum. The force of my long overdue orgasm inevitably caused my legs to fail me. Unable to any longer hold myself up, I ended up back down on the floor. My position didn't matter; he wasn't done with me yet!

Even as I was sinking down he continued to lash, suck and eat away vaginal area; and my climatic spasms kept coming! It was an amazing experience, imagine if you will. The snapping crackling sound of a sadistically cruel task master's whip as it slashes and slaps against the naked flesh of its victim; forcing them to scream out in excruciating ungodly and unimaginable pain. Imagine that the task master is devoid of compassion or conscious; as he swings his whip with vile intent. Are you still with me?
Imagine my cousin's tongue as the whip, him as the task master, and my clit as the naked flesh. Now attempt to replace all those demented evils of hell with the blessed ecstasies of a rapturous resurrection into the glory of the seventh heaven. Although that is my best attempt to express my dilemma; it doesn't even come close! I was delirious with intoxicating carnality. The fact that we were blood relatives didn't mean a damn thing anymore. He literally had me begging him without any shame or remorse. I hungered to be FUCKED and so I cried out to him!
But he was lost in his own lasciviousness as my pleas for urgent penetration fell upon death ears. He wasn't going to be rushed into anything; it was as if he was lost in a personal trance. One that had me squealing, squirming, and screaming, across my kitchen floor. In an effort to get away from his lip lock on my pussy. (I have no problem admitting it, though I loved it, it was driving me insane!) I had mopped the hardwood of my kitchen. I had wiggled my way from the sink all the way to the point where the kitchen ended and the front room began.
Finally he let go and crawled up to kiss me, placing himself on top of me. The wetness of his face and the taste of my own cum as our tongues once again twisted were beyond exhilarating. I found myself unpreventably responding like a loose woman. The kiss was electrifying, so much so that I began to beg him to fuck me again. Only this time I implored him to do so until tears actually filled my eyes. Still he wasn't quite ready for that.
Having squirmed my way to the living room, we were on the carpet when he took me by the hand raising me off of the floor. Then he took the time to slowly undress me until I stood unashamedly naked before him. He then placed his hands on my shoulder leading me to the floor, face to face with his groin. Instead of undressing himself, he sternly instructed me to "go get what you want." Delightedly but anxiously I fumbled with his buckle, snap, zipper, and then boxers. Until 11 inches of inflexible dick stared me eye to eye.
(Before moving on allow me to mention though not at the time; but later I did measure him. He is a full 11 inches long and according to my tape measure 4 inches around in girth. Frankly I'm not asking anyone to believe this fact. Whether you do or not doesn't change what I know to be true. And I have a witness but that's an entirely different story.)
He asked, more like told me to suck it and he didn't have to say it twice. I cannot nor would I ever attempt to speak for any other woman other than myself. But the moment in time when I accepted that there was an immodest female, a depraved slut within me. One which had been denied freedom of express for fifty plus years; and though not understanding but truly feeling the degree of my own perversities at the time, I trembled as I opened my mouth to take him inside it.